Is Nancy Pelosi A Bus? Cuz She's Taking Republicans To School

Donald Trump had his ass impeached last week (on my late mother's birthday because God is good). Where's our Senate trial? We might have to wait a spell, because we're currently at what the pundits call an "impasse." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck her stilettos in the articles of impeachment, refusing to send them to the Senate unless Mitch McConnell agreed to a real, live trial instead of the Pinocchio proceedings he'd boasted about on Fox News.

This is tough for the GOP-controlled Senate. It's not prepared for non-sham activities. McConnell's Senate is really only good for sitting on beneficial legislation and churning out unqualified, right-wing hack judges. Lindsey Graham whined yesterday that Pelosi had gone mad with power and was trying to run the Senate.

Ted Cruz suggested Sunday that Pelosi's stance was an "admission of failure" and a "sign of weakness," like someone who carries water for the guy who called his wife ugly. As Pelosi might say, "Oh Pfft!" Republicans can try to bait her, but she ain't budging. It's like last year's government shutdown when Pelosi stood her ground and ate Trump's lunch with chopsticks. Pelosi's position hasn't changed since Wednesday.

This tweet is the political equivalent to my favorite line from Coming to America: "Fuck you! Fuck you! And fuck you! Who's next?" The bad lady in charge is running the show. Chuck Schumer is Senator Droopy Dog. A real fight surprised the hell out of McConnell. During an appearance yesterday on "Fox & Friends," the majority leader declared he hadn't "ruled out" witness testimony during the Senate trial.

MCCONNELL: What we need to do is listen to the arguments. Have a written questioning period, and then decide whether we need witnesses or not.

It's safe to assume McConnell's decision will lean heavily toward "not." Trusting McConnell is a fool's proposition. But Pelosi is holding onto her leverage. She didn't release the articles but she released the hounds. Now Republicans will have to justify themselves, without fully controlling the situation, until at least early into 2020.

Democrats, Republicans deadlocked over next steps in

Keep in mind that Republicans never wanted an impeachment trial. Now they're reduced to begging Pelosi to send the articles to the Senate. She'll have them painting her fence for her next.

CBS News correspondent Marc Liverman reported on the impeachment standoff yesterday, and anchor Ann-Marie Green asked him about new emails revealing how Trump tried to screw over Ukraine for his own ends. Green asked Liverman, "How are the Democrats spinning it and how is the White House spinning it." Gonna stop Green right here. It's not about dueling "spins" but what the emails actually prove, which is Trump's obvious guilt. The media is gonna "both sides" us to an early grave. Maybe Pelosi should do their jobs, as well.

Follow Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

Get yr "Impeachment Fever!" tees with your Christmas money from grandma!

Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations. Please send us money to pay the writers a living wage, and the other costs too. Thank you, we love you.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc