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In a pleasant change of pace, here's a reminder that there are lots of gross people out there whose last name doesn't rhyme with "fugger": Weird former member of the Virginia House of Delegates Joe Morrissey is getting married to the teenaged receptionist with whom he fathered a babby. Despite pleading no contest to a misdemeanor charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor last year, Morrissey insists that he and his bride-to-be, Myrna Pride, never did the nasty until she was very definitely of age. Ms. Pride also said, at a press appearance where they announced their plans to marry, "I never engaged in a sexual [act] with Mr. Morrissey until I was of legal age," so all of you people should just shut up now. Which sort of makes you wonder why he'd take a plea deal to avoid felony charges resulting from both the relationship and from showing pornographic photos of Pride to a friend.


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Morrissey is one great pile of strangeness, having once brandished an AK-47 on the floor of the House of Delegates -- it was unloaded, but in violation of good safety protocol, he also had his thumb inside the trigger guard, which you just never do, even with an unloaded gun:

Then there was the whole embarrassing revelation of his affair with Pride, which Morrissey initially denied, and insisted was nothing more than a fakey fake story resulting from his phone being hacked, which nobody even bothered to pretend they believed. After the no-contest plea, Morrissey briefly resigned his seat, but then began campaigning -- from jail -- to replace himself in the resulting special election. As he said at the time, he wanted the voters' affirmation, so as to remove the "taint over my seat." And darned if he didn't go and win reelection in January -- again, while still in jail for violating his work-release for the misdemeanor charge.

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Once he got out of jail this spring, he decided that the good people of Virginia needed him to be in the Senate, and so after he announced his candidacy in March, Morrissey had to give up that House seat that he'd fought so hard to keep. When he announced his Senate run, Morrissey said, "I have been told I represent a unique brand of politics," and not a single person argued with him at all.

And now, Morrisey, who's 57, is marrying Ms. Pride, who gave birth to their little babby, Chase, just a week before her nineteenth birthday. He's such a proud dad that he and the soon-to-be-missus got a novelty old-timey portrait taken, along with babby, which Morrisey handed to a surprised local reporter last week. At least we assume it's a novelty portrait; at this point, we can't rule out the possibility that Joseph Dee Morrissey is a Timelord and this is actually a photo snapped in some vaguely 19th Century context and then brought home in the TARDIS.

Oh, also, too, at the press conference where he announced his upcoming nuptials, Morrissey added that he had also fathered a total of four children out of wedlock with different women. In addition to Chase, there are two who are adults, and another is a two-year-old whose life he is quite involved with -- that little nipper, he said, had visited with him on the floor of the General Assembly. Happily, not at a moment when he was waving his gun around.

[RawStory / WTOP / WTVR / The Heavy]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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