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Good thing Karen was there, otherwise Mike woulda had to fuck the entire row behind him.


As more and more HARVEY WEINSTEIN victims come forward, some people (assholes) just can't seem to find their way to blaming HARVEY WEINSTEIN for how HARVEY WEINSTEIN'S dick allegedly sexually harassed and assaulted and even raped women. Whose fault is it that, according to accuser Lauren Sivan, WEINSTEIN forced her to watch as he jizzed into a potted plant? Don't ask World's Best Journalist Chris Cillizza, because he's too busy jerking himself off over how quickly Hillary Clinton responded to the WEINSTEIN allegations and was Hillary pretending she doesn't like rape and sexual assault, or is she just pandering like a common Hillary Clinton again? Jesus Christ, Chris Cillizza, go fuck yourself.

And certainly do not ask Justin Miller of the Daily Beast, because he's got his finger up his ass with the #HotTake that Meryl Streep is a common Bitches Be Lyin' for saying she had no idea WEINSTEIN was so awful to women. BURN HER FOR A WITCH!

Then a new trend emerged! Whose fault is it that HARVEY WEINSTEIN did all those things? Well, maybe if women didn't act like such sluts by existing in rooms where men also were existing, and maybe if women weren't dumb enough to go to bars with their male colleagues after work without men interpreting that as a License 2 Fuk, none of this would have happened.

Seriously, asshole men are saying this!

Feminist author Jessica Valenti collected a few of the worst offenders in a tweet:

Those tweets come from 1) Mansplaining gaysexual Josh Barro of Business Insider; 2) Trump Nazi Sebastian Gorka; and 3) wingnut blogger Erick Erickson, who DOES NOT FUCK GOATS STOP SAYING THAT.

Barro's column is a run-of-the-mill mansplainer where he appears to bemoan how women miss out on career advancement opportunities because of activities that "blur the lines" between professional and personal, where poor men are worried about the appearance of impropriety. But instead of coming to the conclusion that maybe men should not assume they are allowed to sexually harass/grope/fuck their female colleagues in these situations, he instead says office culture needs to change so employees don't go out after work or get to know each other, because before you know it everybody's drinking and men, UNCONTROLLABLE ANIMALS THAT THEY ARE, might feel compelled to violate women's personal boundaries. This is not a good #HotTake!

Gorka and Erickson really get to the point, though, about how men are the REAL victims here. Let's look at their tweets a little more closely:

Ah yes! The "Mother Rule." (Mike Pence calls his wife "Mother," and not even in a playful way like young parents do with young children when they say, "Where's Mommy? Let's go see Mommy!" Mike Pence is gross and creepy and disgusting.)

Mike Pence is not allowed to eat lunch with a lady all by himself, and Mike Pence is not allowed to be sans Mother at any event where alcohol might be served, because DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, those situations might force Mike Pence to yank it out and commence to FUCKIN'.

Who among us hasn't found ourselves having a light soup 'n' salad lunch with a female colleague and felt an insatiable urge to fuck that lady RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD CAN'T STOP? Mike Pence and HARVEY WEINSTEIN have, apparently!

Oh, and the president of the United States too:

“I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”

They let him get away with anything, because he's a celebrity. Grab 'em by the pussy. Whatever. And Billy Bush replied, "LOLOLOLBILLYBUSHLOLLOL!!!!!!11111!"

They just can't stop themselves. (OR CAN THEY?)

If Mike Pence sees a pretty lady at an after-work function -- and really, shouldn't the White House stop blurring the lines between professional and personal? State dinners and Christmas parties? PFFFFFFT! And do not even get us started on that goddamned White House Easter Egg Roll -- and Lime-A-Ritas are available, can he be blamed for needing to fuck her?

If Sebastian Gorka is introduced to a young blonde Nazi lady, how can he possibly NOT fuck her if he's alone with her for a moment, especially if she starts quoting Hitler VERY SEXXXILY?

If Erick Erickson goes to a petting zoo without his wife and the goats are making real slutty bleating sounds that day ...

AHEM.

Maybe these men are right. Maybe they should just all follow the Mother Rule, because if they're so pathetic they literally can't control themselves if there's a human with XX chromosomes present, maybe they should just never leave the house ever, like Jessica Valenti suggested.

Barro writes in his column that the WEINSTEIN situation and others like it "require more than just the hand wave of 'don't harass women, it's simple.'" But honestly, we think it is indeed that simple! The cultural change we need isn't about changing the workplace environment or enshrining strict conservative Christian Jesus rules so men don't get all rapey. The change we need is STOP TEACHING MEN, TACITLY OR OUT LOUD, THAT IT'S OK TO HARASS/ASSAULT/RAPE WOMEN.

To all the men, straight or gay (Barro!), writing their #HotTakes assigning blame anywhere away from HARVEY WEINSTEIN'S dick and the dicks of other men like him, we're gonna need you to take a million steps back, STFU, do something wild and crazy like listen to women for once, and then come back when you have a #HotTake about changing the culture so that men, cradle to grave, are all taught that women ACTUALLY FOR REAL weren't put on this earth to satisfy their sexual harassing/groping/assaulting/raping urges.

Jesus, it's not that fucking complicated.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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