Pity Obama Won't Say What He Really Feels About Whiny Coward Republicans


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The last few days we've learned that Republican governors,presidential candidates, pundits, and those weird people who show up in your Facebook friends' comments sections are some of the most pathetic, cowardly excuses for human beings our great US and A has ever seen. The Greatest Generation, they are not. And for all their talk about Traditional Christian Values, most of them have seemed to miss the TEN MILLION PARTS of the Bible about giving weary travelers rest, doing for the least of these, and also washing a lot of feet probably. Jesus was into all those things.

And their pants-sharting fear has been over Syrian people, growned-ups and little babies, whose daily lives are filled with the very real fear that they might die for no reason, casualties in a pointless war waged by maniacs. Oh, those SCARY SYRIAN REFUGEES! Because did you hear the rumors on the internets that one of the Paris attackers might sneaked in from there? WHOA IF TRUE! We should say screw all those millions of people and let them die, because OMG what if one of the bad guys sneaked in here?! What could we possibly ever DO in the face of such a threat? It's not like we're America, Fuck Yeah! or anything. At least not to these people.

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And your president, Barack Bamz Benghazi Obama, has been getting more and more pissed about it. We thought it was bad enough when he said this would be a whole lot easier if today's Republicans were at least as decent and caring as that bleeding heart human rights activist George W. Bush.

But Barry was not done, oh HELL NO. In fact, he may just be getting started. Read what President Obama said at a presser in the Philippines Wednesday morning. THIS, dear Republican presidential candidates, all however many of you is left now that Bobby Jindal's quit to spend more time running away from hyphenated Americans, is what a PRESIDENT looks like:

I cannot think of a more potent recruitment tool for ISIL than some of the rhetoric coming out of here in the course of this debate. ISIL seeks to exploit the idea that there’s war between Islam and the West, and when you start seeing individuals in positions of responsibility suggesting Christians are more worthy of protection than Muslims are in a war-torn land that feeds the ISIL narrative. It’s counter-productive. And it needs to stop.

And I would add these are the same folks who suggested they’re so tough that just talk to Putin or staring down ISIL (will work) ... but they’re scared of widows and orphans coming into the United States of America as part of our tradition of compassion. First they were worried the press was too tough on them in the debates; now they’re worried about 3-year-old orphans. That doesn’t sound very tough to me.

That last line, about how they're scared of orphans, was TECHNICALLY directed at all the pansy-assed Republican candidates, but in a more particular way, the president was subtweeting New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who is apparently very a-skeered of orphans.

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But wasn't that AMAZING? He hit all the best things, about how the Republicans are sadsack whiners who are too D-U-M and terrified to answer real questions from debate moderators, and now they're scared of all the little children of the world -- you know, the ones Jesus loves, according to the song, no matter whether they are red, yellow, black or white, they are precious in His sight?

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You need a reminder, Ted Cruz? Big dumb failure Jeb Bush? What about you, Mike Huckabee? How's about you and all your Republican friends see if you can get some headphones past the dick-snot in your ears and listen to this, for a refresher?

Good job, Republicans. Barack Obama is ashamed of you, America is ashamed of you, and Jesus Christ Himself is ashamed of you. Hope you enjoy your fat-ass American Thanksgiving celebrations next week, and remember to say you're thankful for your guns and for Kim Davis and whatever else you pigs appreciate in life.

Pretty sure your God has stopped listening.

[PoliticsUSA / Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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