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Needs his nap.


SOMEBODY didn't like it when Hillary Clinton took the stage Thursday night and sliced Donald Trump's weenus off WITH WORDS (and also with votes). And you know who that SOMEBODY is? It is Donald Trump, who has been soiling his foreign-made Trump panties the past twenty-four hours on Twitter, like he does most days.

Here's one from last night:

It's spelled "judgment," you illiterate, thin-skinned weirdo.

Trump got mad Friday morning because the cruel media is talking about Hillary's speech, instead of talking about his beautiful, YOOGE hands:

Know what else Donald Trump doesn't like? It's that Hillary shrieks on and on like a common woman (he HATES women), but she doesn't even scream BIGLY. No, she screams AVERAGELY:

Can't you just see Trump in his office at Trump Tower right now, eating an authentic Mexican Trump Taco Bowl with his right hand, and flicking aimlessly at his tiny dick with his left pinky, full of rage about how Hillary Clinton and all sentient beings are laughing at him? Can you imagine how that feels? Nah, you can't, because you are not pathetic like he is.

Oh, his ennui right now:

Hey, do you guys remember that sexy beast, Gen. John Allen, who came out and Marine-yelled at everybody about how great and strong America is, and how much better it will be when Hillary Clinton is commander in chief? Here, let us refresh your memory:

Whatever is left of Donald Trump's manhood shriveled away when that happened, and he tweeted about it:

OH AND ANOTHER THING, Trump is still very mad about mean former NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg's speech. Remember that? Here, let Vox refresh you:

[Bloomberg] said Trump was a hypocrite and a con artist who’s also a terrible businessman, and even seemed to question his sanity.

Plus, Bloomberg is not only a fellow New Yorker but a far richer one than Trump — even according to Trump’s exaggerated reporting of his own fortune — so his criticism has to sting a guy who measures people’s self-worth by the size of their bank accounts.

Hahahahahahaha, yep that's definitely what happened.

Anyway, Donald Trump is having one of his little temper tantrums about that too:

Let's rage on Hillz some more:

Awwww, dumb honeylumps thinks his little convention bounce is going to last. How adorable.

Trump ended his little tirade (for now) with a desperate attempt to appeal to the small and dwindling number of Bernie-Or-Bust people still out there. Somehow we don't think this is going to have much of an effect on anything:

Those tweets, as of this writing, were just a few minutes ago. God knows what he'll say next, but jeez, Donald, it's a beautiful day, go outside and play or something.

We'd call Trump a pussy, except for how pussies are strong, unlike Weak Donald.

[That fucking dipshit's Twitter account]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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