Pizza Man Herman Cain Now GOP's Favorite Candidate

Pizza Man Herman Cain Now GOP's Favorite Candidate

Republicans are having a very hard time rallying around a potential or real candidate for 2012. They finally realized the following facts this year: Sarah Palin is a widely hated sleazeball crybaby, Donald Trump is an idiot racist crybaby, Mike Huckabee is a pleasantly dumb weekend cable host, that one Mexican governor somewhere is a dope fiend with the hippies, Rick Santorum continues to be stupid and corrupt even by wingnut standards, Michele Bachmann is utterly unknown within her own party and laughed at by the few who've heard her misspelled name, Newt Gingrich is still a detestable cretin, Mitt Romney is an anti-Christian Obamacare liberal freakazoid from Taxachusetts, and there's stillno evidence Tim Pawlenty exists. As in many lost-cause campaigns of the past, the Republicans have returned to their classic Hail Mary pass of the 21st Century: Is there some black guy around somewhere who says he's Republican?

It is only in these doomed endeavors that the Republicans will turn to some fourth-tier GOP candidate who happens to have a bit more melanin -- and almost always when the Democratic candidate also has darker skin than the majority population. It is a strange coincidence! And GOP candidates from Alan Keyes to Michael Steele -- that's all of them, actually -- have repeatedly found themselves in the unlikely position of being a black candidate running against a black candidate in a majority white nation. America, what a country! (To be fair, and that is all we strive for, Steele was picked to run for a Maryland Senate seat in 2006 because Kweisi Mfume was running. But Mfume lost the Democratic primary, so Steele lost to Ben Cardin instead.)

Anyway, meet the next president of the United States, Herman "Godfather" Cain:

Cain, the CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, is usually talked about as something of a fringe candidate: likeable, but with little chance at actually winning the nomination. But in the first GOP primary debate earlier this month in Greenville, S.C., Cain performed very well, and a focus group conducted by Frank Luntz declared him the winner. His debate performance seems to have helped him immensely.

Cain jumped to the top of the pack in terms of electability, taking 13 percent of the vote in the tracking poll, compared to the mere 3 percent he got last time. That puts him right behind New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie -- ever the favorite, even though he says he won’t run.

This is from the unreliable Washington hip-hop website DC Daily Caller, so it's probably not true? Or maybe it is, who knows. The story goes on to say Mitt Romney is still the front-runner, but his poll numbers keep dropping the more Republicans realize he's supposedly the front-runner.


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