So Politico has a bright shiny thing about how our dear Old Handsome Joe Biden wanted Elizabeth Warren to be his vice president, should he have run. Everyone wants Elizabeth Warren to be their vice president. Donald Trump is trying to figure out RIGHT NOW how he can take back all the times he made hilarious jokes about her fake Indian (not fake Indian) heritage, so he can ask her to pretty please be his vice president too! But that is not what this post is about. This post, instead, is about one very stupid paragraph in that Politico piece, and making a federal case out of it, because hey, it is Friday.

Blah blah blah, Joe Biden loves Elizabeth Warren, everybody loves Elizabeth Warren, she is the kind of Female Old Handsome Joe (but less centrist-y) that anyone would want helping them make decisions about shit. She is great, Hillary and Joe have banking ties and need someone on the left, ET CETERA, and ...

Warren — to the delight of Clinton’s staff — has recently trained her fire on Donald Trump, a move that many Clintonites interpret as evidence that the darling of the Democrats’ anti-establishment wing might be willing to accept Clinton, despite the front-runner’s deep and lucrative connections to the New York financial services sector.

(Our bold.)

Really? MIGHT she? MIGHT Elizabeth Warren be willing to accept Clinton? The woman Warren urged to run for president? The bad old bank-lover whose opponent Warren had the opportunity to endorse and yet somehow never managed to find the time? That is some hypothetical, whether or not Warren "might" accept her instead of telling her to fuck right off with some sort of unpleasant off-fucking implement!

Unless Politico is saying she "might" accept Clinton's offer to be her running mate, which, yeah, is actually much less clear.

We, for one, are unwilling to give Politico the benefit of the doubt, because whatever they suck.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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