When Mike Pompeo was in the House of Representatives, he was a pompous ass who became enraged at Hillary Clinton because he didn't understand why cool people like Sidney Blumenthal never emailed him all the time, because the only emails he ever got as a Kansas congressman were from cows. (That is not literally what he said, but it was the spirit.) But now he's the secretary of State, so he's the guy who gets called to Congress to testify, and wow, his testimony Wednesday to the House Foreign Affairs Committee did not go well.

It especially went poorly when freshman Democratic Rep. Tom Malinowski of New Jersey teed up an exchange asking Pompeo why the fuck Donald Trump apparently loves Communism so much, if Venezuela's socialism is so bad. It was, of course, a trick question (for idiots), because Trump is IN LOVE with Kim Jong Un because Kim writes him sexxx letters and says he's pretty, which is why Trump keeps giving him prestigious face time and lifting sanctions his own Treasury Department imposed the day before. (After which the White House furiously concocted a cover story about what Trump had just done, on Twitter, which was debunked within hours.) Because of their LOVE!

POMPEO: Yeah, I mean, the very statement there is pretty outrageous.

Oh is it "outrageous"? Or is it perfectly valid since North Korea is, as Malinowski pointed out, the "most perfectly realized Communist state in history." Like we said, it was a trick question, because Trump people are not very intelligent.

Pompeo continued to answer by saying our sanctions on North Korea are super tough (at least the ones Trump didn't remove on Twitter last Friday) and that the "government there will evolve over time," we guess because the Trump administration has a super secret and very cool plan to change the government in North Korea, except for they haven't thought of it yet.

Malinowski asked why "liking" Kim is a good reason for Trump to cancel sanctions on North Korea, and Pompeo's answer wasn't worth repeating, because it was about as believable as when Trump idiots lie and say Trump has been tougher on Vladimir Putin than anyone in human history.

But then it got super weird. Remember after Trump's recent gigantic Fail Summit with Kim in Vietnam, Trump came out and refused to blame Kim for the death of American Otto Warmbier, which caused the Warmbier family to have to release a pained statement telling Trump to get fucked? Know how Kim Jong Un is literally a dictator who kills his own family and starves and kills his own people, because he's a piece of shit monster?

MALINOWSKI HAD QUESTIONS. And Pompeo had answers that, stunningly, still refused to blame Kim Jong Un for all the devastation he has wreaked, including the death of Otto Warmbier. This is the secretary of State, y'all. Of America! (Transcript via the Washington Post.)

Pompeo Slams Democrat Rep. 'Don't Make This a Political Football, It's Inappropriate'

MALINOWSKI: Is Kim Jong Un responsible for maintaining North Korea's system on labor camps?

POMPEO: He's the leader of the country.

MALINOWSKI: Is he responsible for ordering the execution of his uncle and the assassination by chemical agent of his half-brother?

POMPEO: He's the leader of the country.

In other words ... yes? But the secretary of State is too much of a chickenshit to say it?

MALINOWSKI: Was he responsible for the decision not to allow Otto Warmbier to come home until he was on death's door?

POMPEO: I'll leave the president's statement to stand. He made that statement. We all know that the North Korean regime was responsible for the tragedy that occurred to Otto Warmbier. I've met that family. I know those people. I love them dearly.

Oh, it was the REGIME? Still too chickenshit to blame that bastard Kim Jong Un, are you, Mister Secretary?

POMPEO: Sir, don't make this a political football. It's inappropriate. That's inappropriate to do.

Ooh, he was so TESTY when he said that! But we are curious, when he says "political football," does Pompeo mean the way he and Trey Gowdy and their pals made it a "political football" when FOUR AMERICANS died in Benghazi and investigated it thousands of times, finding Hillary Clinton did nothing wrong each and every time, yet still branding her as the devil who personally killed those FOUR AMERICANS, with her emails? Yeah, that would be inappropriate.

Just kidding, Secretary Pompeo, please STFU and go fuck a Kansas cow. (But not an Iowa cow or a California cow. Devin Nunes called dibs on those. ALLEGEDLY.)

As the Washington Post remarked, it's Jamal Khashoggi all over again, because it's just not that big a deal to the Trump administration when Americans (or American residents who are Washington Post reporters) die, as long as it was either Trump's decision or the decision of a dictator he loves.

This regime is criminal and full of fucking monsters. Never forget.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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