When Mike Pompeo was in the House of Representatives, he was a pompous ass who became enraged at Hillary Clinton because he didn't understand why cool people like Sidney Blumenthal never emailed him all the time, because the only emails he ever got as a Kansas congressman were from cows. (That is not literally what he said, but it was the spirit.) But now he's the secretary of State, so he's the guy who gets called to Congress to testify, and wow, his testimony Wednesday to the House Foreign Affairs Committee did not go well.

It especially went poorly when freshman Democratic Rep. Tom Malinowski of New Jersey teed up an exchange asking Pompeo why the fuck Donald Trump apparently loves Communism so much, if Venezuela's socialism is so bad. It was, of course, a trick question (for idiots), because Trump is IN LOVE with Kim Jong Un because Kim writes him sexxx letters and says he's pretty, which is why Trump keeps giving him prestigious face time and lifting sanctions his own Treasury Department imposed the day before. (After which the White House furiously concocted a cover story about what Trump had just done, on Twitter, which was debunked within hours.) Because of their LOVE!

POMPEO: Yeah, I mean, the very statement there is pretty outrageous.

Oh is it "outrageous"? Or is it perfectly valid since North Korea is, as Malinowski pointed out, the "most perfectly realized Communist state in history." Like we said, it was a trick question, because Trump people are not very intelligent.

Pompeo continued to answer by saying our sanctions on North Korea are super tough (at least the ones Trump didn't remove on Twitter last Friday) and that the "government there will evolve over time," we guess because the Trump administration has a super secret and very cool plan to change the government in North Korea, except for they haven't thought of it yet.

Malinowski asked why "liking" Kim is a good reason for Trump to cancel sanctions on North Korea, and Pompeo's answer wasn't worth repeating, because it was about as believable as when Trump idiots lie and say Trump has been tougher on Vladimir Putin than anyone in human history.

But then it got super weird. Remember after Trump's recent gigantic Fail Summit with Kim in Vietnam, Trump came out and refused to blame Kim for the death of American Otto Warmbier, which caused the Warmbier family to have to release a pained statement telling Trump to get fucked? Know how Kim Jong Un is literally a dictator who kills his own family and starves and kills his own people, because he's a piece of shit monster?

MALINOWSKI HAD QUESTIONS. And Pompeo had answers that, stunningly, still refused to blame Kim Jong Un for all the devastation he has wreaked, including the death of Otto Warmbier. This is the secretary of State, y'all. Of America! (Transcript via the Washington Post.)

Pompeo Slams Democrat Rep. 'Don't Make This a Political Football, It's Inappropriate' www.youtube.com

MALINOWSKI: Is Kim Jong Un responsible for maintaining North Korea's system on labor camps?

POMPEO: He's the leader of the country.

MALINOWSKI: Is he responsible for ordering the execution of his uncle and the assassination by chemical agent of his half-brother?

POMPEO: He's the leader of the country.

In other words ... yes? But the secretary of State is too much of a chickenshit to say it?

MALINOWSKI: Was he responsible for the decision not to allow Otto Warmbier to come home until he was on death's door?

POMPEO: I'll leave the president's statement to stand. He made that statement. We all know that the North Korean regime was responsible for the tragedy that occurred to Otto Warmbier. I've met that family. I know those people. I love them dearly.

Oh, it was the REGIME? Still too chickenshit to blame that bastard Kim Jong Un, are you, Mister Secretary?

POMPEO: Sir, don't make this a political football. It's inappropriate. That's inappropriate to do.

Ooh, he was so TESTY when he said that! But we are curious, when he says "political football," does Pompeo mean the way he and Trey Gowdy and their pals made it a "political football" when FOUR AMERICANS died in Benghazi and investigated it thousands of times, finding Hillary Clinton did nothing wrong each and every time, yet still branding her as the devil who personally killed those FOUR AMERICANS, with her emails? Yeah, that would be inappropriate.

Just kidding, Secretary Pompeo, please STFU and go fuck a Kansas cow. (But not an Iowa cow or a California cow. Devin Nunes called dibs on those. ALLEGEDLY.)

As the Washington Post remarked, it's Jamal Khashoggi all over again, because it's just not that big a deal to the Trump administration when Americans (or American residents who are Washington Post reporters) die, as long as it was either Trump's decision or the decision of a dictator he loves.

This regime is criminal and full of fucking monsters. Never forget.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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