Poor Idiot Democrat Has To Wash His Own Towels At His Taxpayer-Funded Gym Boo Hoo
Man, you haveno idea how hard it is to be a member of Congress these days. Like Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-Acme Medical Skool) said, these poor guys are stuck making a mere $172,000 a year. He's hardly the only member of Congress to complain about his piddly-but-still-almost-four-times-more-than-the-median-American-income salary. In 2011, Rep. Sean Duffy (R-Real World) cry-babied about his salary and how he has to drive a used minivan, poor dear.
And now with the government shutdown, things have gotten so bad that House members have been forced to launder their own gym towels at their members-only taxpayer funded gym. Oh the horror!
On Wednesday, Iowa Rep. Bruce Braley (D-For Shame) took to the airwaves to lament the third-world conditions at his gym. You know, that gym Speaker John Boehner has declared essential (unlike the gym for his staff, which is not essential and has been closed because during the government shutdown, we all have to make sacrifices -- unless we are members of Congress).
"There's hardly anybody working down there. There's no towel service, we're doing our own laundry down there. And we pay a fee to belong to the House gym. So this is no different than if you're working for an employer that offers a wellness program. You pay a fee to belong, that's what we do there."
Isn't that just the saddest thing you have ever heard in your entire life? Sure, children can't get their cancer treatments, and sure, Head Start has been shut down, and sure, veterans will not be receiving their benefits -- but that doesn't begin to compare to the atrocity of House members being denied the
privilege right to have taxpayers fund their laundry service.
We are so prostrate with grief at this atrocity, we will now go sob into our hanky. Which we will then launder ourselves, like some kind of oppressed member of Congress.