Poor Oppressed Alabama Police Chief Suspended Just For Making HILARIOUS Rape Jokes

Some people are REALLY not getting the memo. For instance, if you are a law enforcement official who looks at the avalanche of sexual assault allegations in the media and thinks, "Now's the time for me to be making rape jokes online," well, WE CANNOT AGREE 100% WITH YOUR POLICE WORK THERE, Police Chief Bryan Hammond of Killen, Alabama.

On the Facebook post of a local television station's story about Roy Moore accuser Beverly Young Nelson, Hammond joked that, "Silence is consent." AS ONE DOES.

Har Dee Har! See, it's funny because now victims in Killen get to report sexual assault to a law enforcement officer who thinks that a woman who doesn't die trying to fight off her attacker actually consented to sex.

That Chief Hammond is a card, ain't he? In fact, he had some more funny things to say in that same Facebook exchange.

Joking that Doug Jones sexually assaulted you as a child? Nothing funnier than child abuse, right?

Oh, Bryan Hammond, you are the living end! And also the living embodiment of every stereotype about good old boy, smalltown, no-justice-just-us law enforcement officers. You are Exhibit A for why sexual assault survivors wait decades to come forward, knowing they'll face shame and derision from the very people who are supposed to protect them. In fact, we hope one of your deputies arrests you tomorrow for aggravated murder of irony.

In his own defense, Chief Hammond responds that you all should learn to take a joke!

That was sarcasm. ... It was just a friend that I had commented on her post.

Hammond knows he is being oppressed for his Republican views, just like Roy Moore. Because obviously Republicans are the real victims in a state with a Republican governor, Republican attorney general, and Republican legislature. He's been suspended for 15 days without pay, since everyone in Alabama is so goddamn PC these days, we guess. What will poor Killen do without him?

[AL.com screenshots / AL.com / TPM / WHNT.com]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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