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Last week Wonkette told you about how the president's very good lawyer Rudy Giuliani had shown up at the "Globes" Capital Market Conference in Israel with his ever present foot in his mouth to spew a bit of slut shaming at one of his favorite targets, Stormy Daniels. This is the same man who couldn't possibly shut the fuck up and not imply (by imply I mean outright declare with vainglorious delight) that Kim Jong-un was on "hands and knees," just begging and pleading with Trump to date him in Singapore. Not satisfied with almost fucking shit up between the unstable North Korean leader and the unstable dick-hole some people call President of the USA, he decided to swim deeper into shit creek and attack Daniels's CREDIBILITY. Cue the virtue signaling!

Giuliani also had some things to say about porn, and how he swears he doesn't watch it because only notorious liars and fallen women have anything to do with porn.

Daniels's lawyer Michael Avenatti crowed with delight over this idiotic and ridiculously dishonest attempt to play morality police and decided to fuck with him and collect some receipts. He asked his followers to help him learn more about the allegedly disturbing and notorious porn habits of Rudy Giuliani, if such habits indeed exist. We are simply hoping it's all human on human action because Alien Porn (No! I will NOT LINK TO IT! Use Google.) can be a bit overwhelming for the uninitiated.



He continued to tease his followers with follow up tweets suggesting that something was brewing and ready to steam Rudy Giuliani's ass very very soon:



Uh oh, looks like shit is going the fuck down! I'm as excited as a Fox News anchor looking at Hillary's emails!



Now we all heard Rudy Giuliani say quite clearly and in nearly intelligible English that "Now, I don't really even look at porn," but has Avenatti stumbled upon Rudy's old box of Playboys from when women still had pubic hair? It would be irresponsible not to speculate! Maybe Avenatti located the PornHub account where Giuliani "researches" how credible Stormy Daniels is based on her "work ethic." Regardless of what he located (and we all know he located something, probably allegedly), it might be time for Giuliani to keep Stormy Daniels's name out of his mouth before he ends up with his own business all in the streets, because we all know Michael Avenatti loves bringing receipts.

It's funny how a man working for a man like Donald Trump seems to think Stormy Daniels and other women in porn lack credibility, yet when push comes to shove, he also thinks a perjury trap (but not a KOREAN PERJURY TRAP) is waiting to snap his boss up if he sits down with Robert Mueller.

Also, has Giuliani forgotten that many of us have seen the first lady in all of her glorious nudity? Does that diminish Melania Trump's value, Rudy? Not in my opinion! I think she's garbage for completely different reasons, but I will "Be Best" and bite my tongue.

Stephen Colbert took exception to Giuliani's claim that he "doesn't really look at porn" (say what, now?) because LOL, sure, Rudy. That's some hilarious bullshit coming from a guy who works for a guy who according to "Morning Joe" co-host Mika Brzezinski is desperate to watch porn in the White House. Either Giuliani is the one of the only adult humans who doesn't watch porn, or he is actually the dumbest liar in the world.

Here, have a video:


In conclusion, if a Rudy Giuliani watches porn alone the woods, does the porn make a shrieking sound like the women who have seen Rudy naked? Impossible to answer. We would never watch him watch porn.

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Wonderbitch

Wonderbitch is an extremely literate and angry black woman who likes to write things about many things. You can find her dishing out hot takes on Twitter @bravenakblog, or pretending to finish up her History Degree in her spare time.

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If it's a day, the New York Times is fucking shit up, but today, it fucked up BIGLY.

Fresh-faced access journalists Adam Goldman and Michael Schmidt have just published what we can only describe as a drive-by shooting against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, which reads as some bullshit planted by the White House to give Donald Trump the pretext for his Saturday Night Massacre, if he wants it. (He does.)

Maybe the White House is tired of talking about the flailing nomination of Judge Maybe Rapey and how Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller, and the New York Times was more than happy to help!

Or maybe it was planted by former deputy director of the FBI Andrew McCabe, who was fired by Attorney General Jeff Sessions just hours before his pension was set to kick in, and may have a serious axe to grind with DoJ officials and leaked a copy of his own memos. (His lawyer says that's not true, but he would say that, wouldn't he?)

Or maybe it's both, somehow! Or one of many other things!

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It's not every day Golf Digest gets noticed as a source of hard-hitting investigative journalism, at least outside of reviews of titanium carbon fiber nanotech infinite improbability drivers or some such. But Wednesday, some journamalisming that started with a Golf Digest story about a guy who drew fantastic imaginary golf courses concluded with that guy, Valentino Dixon, walking out of Attica prison, 27 years after he'd been sentenced for 39 years to life. Not bad, Golf Digest. We give you a GOLF CLAP. And a Pulitzer if we had one, which, sadly, we don't.

As Golf Digest says, the twists and turns of the case are a bit complex (they're unraveled in more detail in this New York Times story), but it basically comes down to a local prosecutor who was determined to railroad Dixon for the 1991 murder of a 17-year-old, Torriano Jackson, in Buffalo, New York. The conviction involved

shoddy police work, zero physical evidence linking Dixon, conflicting testimony of unreliable witnesses, the videotaped confession to the crime by another man, a public defender who didn't call a witness at trial, and perjury charges against those who said Dixon didn't do it.

Dixon had a prior conviction for selling cocaine, and he made a convenient target for Erie County prosecutor Chris Belling, who was weirdly determined to ignore even statements from the actual killer, LaMarr Scott, who pleaded guilty to the killing shortly before Dixon's release this week.

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