Don't give me that look! If I tell you that you need Potato Chip Cookies in your life, then you need them. Yeah, we all love chocolate chip. But don't be such a basic bitch! Put down that nasty pumpkin spice latte and try something new!

To be fair, this is an old recipe. These cookies were served in the "Tea Room" at the long-shuttered Hutzler's Department store in Baltimore. Fifty years later, the Boomers are still talking about dressing up and going downtown to eat potato chip cookies in the Tea Room. They're salty, and buttery and taste like America before we turned the country into one giant SuperWalmart with fifteen disgusting flavors of Oreos.


Don't put that shit in your mouth! Don't feed it to your kids. Do not encourage Nabisco in this perversion. They are not the boss of you, and you can make your own damn cookies that are much better!

Hutzler's Potato Chip Cookies

(from The Baltimore Sun)

2 sticks unsalted butter, softened (226g)

3/4 cup sugar (150g)

1 egg yolk

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/2 cups flour (188g)

1/4 teaspoon table salt

1/2 cup chopped pecans (55g)

1/2 cup crushed plain potato chips, not salt'n'vinegar Smartass (28g)

Preheat the oven to 350˚ (325˚ convection). Cream the butter and sugar in a stand or hand mixer for two minutes. Beat in the yolk and vanilla.

Add the flour and the nuts and mix until well blended, then gently fold in the potato chips.

Spoon heaping tablespoons of dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet (or use #40 disher), leaving about 2 inches between cookies. Bake for about 20 minutes, until the sides are just brown. Don't take them out early -- unless you enjoy the uncooked flour taste of library paste. Cool cookies on a rack.

Makes about 24

[Baltimore Sun]

Put some money in the kitty for cookies and milk! Also, salaries and servers! Thanks.

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Oh hi! Michael Cohen is going to jail, because he is guilty! Just like Paul Manafort is guilty and GO THE FUCK TO JAIL! WHERE HE ALREADY WAS! (Read up on that here!) And all this news came out in the same hour, somehow, because we live in the dumbest fucking episode of "Law & Order" Dick Wolf ever threw on the cutting room floor, on account of how it was too stupid for words.

However, Cohen avoided a big nasty trial (or series of trials, like Manafort opted for) by just cold pleading guilty to a buncha fuckin' crimes, like a crimer who does a buncha fuckin' crimes all the time. And he implicated Donald Trump in a couple of them!

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HOLY FUCK this afternoon! Michael Cohen just finished a hearing in a New York courtroom where he said, "DURRRR I AM SO GUILTY," but this post is not about that. This post is about how Paul Manafort verdict has just come out! He has been found guilty on eight of the 18 charges he faced in the Eastern District of Virginia (EDVA). The jury is hopelessly deadlocked on the other 10, and so a mistrial will be declared on those and Paul Manafort may get to be retried on them, in addition to his next trial over conspiracies against the United States and witness tampering, which starts next month in Washington DC. Maybe the government will decide Manafort is going to die in jail anyway, and play hooky from retrying those other counts. They probably need a vacay, don't you think?

Trump really does hire the best people!

NBC News's Ken Dilanian broke the news that Manafort has been convicted on five counts of tax fraud, one count of failing to report a foreign bank account on an IRS form, and two charges of bank fraud. The short version of that is that he is guilty of EIGHT FEDERAL FELONIES (so far) and he is going to jail for EIGHT MILLION YEARS for each count. (OK, that is probably not completely accurate. But still, welcome to prison, Paul Manafort!)

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