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Pour One Out For Ted Cruz's Canadian Citizenship, America

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You see that there fancy-looking piece of paper with fancy French writing alongside English, the language George Washington and Jesus spoke? That there is Ted Cruz's official renunciation of his Canadian citizenship, which was a stain on this great nation. What kind of fancy-pants wuss traitor needs dual citizenship anyway? Seems like something only commies or gays or gay commies might want. Thank god Teddy boy was able to remove himself from Canada's socialist clutches.


While at home in Houston on Tuesday, Cruz was notified by mail that the renunciation became official on May 14, The Dallas Morning News reports.

“He’s pleased to receive the notification and glad to have this process finalized,” spokeswoman Catherine Frazier said.

Seriously, can we say how sad we are that the Ted Cruz Canada saga has now come to an end? Remember when he didn't realize that he was even Canadian in the first place, even though he was presumably perfectly well aware that his mother was Canadian and he was born in Canada. Do they not teach anything about dual citizenship at Harvard Law?

Ooh, ooh! And then remember when he was all like "I am trying my damndest to renounce my citizenship, but it is a Sisyphean task that will take years" and then everyone else was like "urm, bro? It is a form on the internet that takes like 20 minutes to fill out and then you give them a check for $100." Seriously, Ted, a monkey banging away at the keyboard with a sock full of quarters could have gotten this thing done faster than you did.

Also, too, we're not really sure what it says about your modern Republican party that they are OK with the dude BORN IN CANADA who was also SECRETLY CANADIAN but they are not cool with Bamz, who was born in 'Merica. Oh wait, we know what it says: your modern Republican party is chock full of slack-jawed idiocy.

Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, Ted Cruz is free at last.

[Time]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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