President Grand Dragon's Racist Day Off

Donald Trump packed a lot of racism into his Monday. The president started bright and early with some unprovoked libel against NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace. He's Black, which is Trump's least favorite type of Bubba. Last month, a noose was found in Wallace's garage at Talladega Superspeedway in Lincoln, Alabama. The FBI investigated and determined it wasn't a hate-related noose but a door-opening noose — no harm, no foul.
Trump — the rabid bigot that he is — assumed Wallace was just faking it all for attention. The windbag cries, “HOAX!"
It's unclear what Trump thinks NASCAR drivers and officials who supported Wallace were “sacrificing" with their firm “no lynching" position, but it's also not clear that Trump thinks much at all beyond “look, squirrel!" and “RACIST THING!"
Nathan Bedford Trump, from Queens, is personally offended that Wallace successfully convinced NASCAR to ban the Confederate flag from its events. Trump has no legitimate Southern heritage but his white nationalism makes him an honorary citizen of the Confederacy.
NASCAR ratings have gone up since the ban, despite Donald Duke's all-caps declaration. This makes sense because people watch NASCAR to see cars run around in circles, not to jerk off while licking their lips over the Confederate flag. If that's your thing, go search RedTube. He also claimed NFL ratings tanked because players were kneeling during the National Anthem. This wasn't backed up by anything but Trump's own weird belief that racism and nationalism are the primary reasons people watch sporting events.
The phrase “just another HOAX" implies that Wallace is just another Jussie Smollett, which White House Press Secretary and Disney villain sidekickKayleigh McEnany later confirmed. They are both lying-ass racists. Former “Empire" actor Smollett was charged with staging a hate crime and making false claims to the police. In contrast, one of Wallace's crew members found the noose, and NASCAR reported it to the FBI. There's no evidence that Wallace tried to pull a William H. Macy from Fargo.
McEnany claimed that Trump was making a “broader point" about “rushing to judgment" and invoked conservatives' favorite cross bearers, the MAGA hat-wearing Covington kids. She always press secretaries as if people don't have access to Trump's own gross words on Twitter.
Wallace responded to Trump's nonsense with class and dignity the president will never possess.
To the next generation and little ones following my foot steps.. #LoveWins https://t.co/tVaV3pkdLe— Bubba Wallace (@Bubba Wallace) 1594060573.0
NASCAR stood by Wallace.
NASCAR issues a statement after Trump tweet: https://t.co/Sq70SWl0aW— Jeff Gluck (@Jeff Gluck) 1594063085.0
NASCAR driver Tyler Reddick also gave Trump the rhetorical finger:
We don't need an apology. We did what was right and we will do just fine without your support.
Trump's BFF Lindsey Graham even backed away from Trump. On Brian Kilmeade's radio show, the South Carolina senator correctly said Wallace had "nothing to apologize for." He also defended NASCAR's decision to ditch the Confederate flag.
They're trying to grow the sport ... If you're in business, the Confederate flag is not a good way to grow your business.
You'd think that was enough racism for at least one news cycle, but Trump wasn't done. He went on another unhinged rant about the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians possibly changing their team names to reflect that this is the 21st Century.
Trump's argument here is fascinatingly racist. Presumably, Native Americans should feel flattered that the Washington and Cleveland sport teams see them as a symbol of “STRENGTH" and present stereotypical bastardizations of their distinct cultures to drunk fans. The president's doing a lot of racial-slur-splaining, which ignores how long and how often Native Americans, either individually or collectively, have asked the teams to just stop it already.
His dig at Sen. Elizabeth Warren is both gross and desperate. You can tell how much he wishes Warren were the Democratic nominee. He could call her "Pocahontas" all day and all through the night. He's stuck with "Corrupt Joe," which isn't even a racial slur. It's just his opinion, man.
During her press briefing Monday afternoon, McEnany took more questions about Robert E. Trump's position on the goddamn Confederate flag. We haven't had a slow news day since February. During a pandemic that's killing Americans in disturbing numbers, the president really needs to be racist on his own time.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."