President Pandemic Continues Cross-Country Covid-Palooza Tour

Trump

Voters overwhelmingly believe Donald Trump has not only bungled his response to COVID-19, but that he's not taking the pandemic seriously. Still, the president continues to hold all-you-can-infect maskless moron rallies across the country. He refuses to listen. This is why suburban women hate him.

A most bizarre demonstration of Trump's recklessness came during his super-spreader event Friday in Macon, Georgia. State Rep. Vernon Jones, who's still technically a Democrat but has endorsed Trump and spoke at the Republican National Convention, dove into the packed crowd of open-faced fools and surfed the waves of coronavirus. He's since been dubbed “Captain Covid" —although he doesn't wear a mask and his only superpower is the ability to look at himself in the mirror without weeping.

Jones could be hospitalized by Election Day, so Trump should encourage him to bank that early vote ASAP.


Trump also defied public health guidelines before thousands of supporters in Muskegon, Michigan on Saturday. Still eager to court that suburban lady vote, he viciously attacked Governor Gretchen Whitmer, who rightwing dirtbags plotted to abduct and possibly murder. The so-called “law and order" president has repeated the terrorists' accusations and demands: He's claimed Whitmer wants to be a “dictator" and that she should "open up the state," even though COVID-19 cases there are surging.

The president has called his COVID-paloozas “peaceful protests," yet if people at an actual Black Lives Matter rally called for vigilante justice against elected officials, the police would release the tear gas and hounds.

TRUMP: Now you got to get your governor to open up your state. Okay? And get your schools open. Get your schools open. The schools have to be open, right?

It might help if the president didn't hold super-spreader events and actively discourage the wearing of masks. Or he could just raise a lynch mob. He'll always take the most repugnant option.

MAGA MOB: Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!

This should never stop making you sick to your stomach.

TRUMP: Lock them all up.

MAGA MOB: Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!

Sunday, when CNN's Jake Tapper confronted Lara Trump about this gross moment, she claimed her father-in-law was “just having fun at a Trump rally." Lara Trump is a solid representative from the League of Sociopathic Women Voters, but that's not a compelling percentage of the 2020 electorate. Most women aren't down with the commander in chief promoting stochastic terrorism.

Trump also barfed more racism about Joe Biden shipping undesirables to the suburbs.

TRUMP: Would you like a nice low-income housing project next to your suburban beautiful ranch style house? Generally speaking, no. I saved your suburbs — women — suburban women, you're supposed to love Trump.

Women voters just adore men who don't appreciate their actual needs and who inexplicably refer to themselves in the third person.

Meanwhile, in Wisconsin, where Trump held another rally this weekend, 4,000 new COVID-19 cases were reported just on Friday and officials have opened a field hospital to handle demand in the northeastern part of the state. But, hey, Trump is back in fighting form, and that's all that matters to him. The 'rona is so yesterday!

TRUMP: I wish you had a Republican governor because, frankly, you've got to open your state up. You've got to open it up.

Wisconsin is currently “opened up," because a judge has blocked Democratic Governor Tony Evers's efforts to stop exactly what is happening right now.

"I'm not a big shutdown believer," Trump said in an interview with WTMJ-TV ahead of the rally. "We give masks to everybody at the rally, but the rallies again are outdoors."

This fool's own CDC guidelines state very clearly that his rallies are the highest risk for spreading the coronavirus. They are large in-person gatherings "where it is difficult for individuals (who are mostly unmasked) to remain spaced at least six feet apart and attendees travel from outside the local area."

When Trump himself had COVID-19, we were supposed to wish him well because that's how morally upstanding people behave. However, I was always afraid that if Trump fully recovered, he'd run around claiming the coronavirus was just man flu. This will cost people their lives. Trump learned nothing from his brush with mortality. He's a version of Scrooge who woke up on Christmas morning determined to be worse than ever. He'd fire Bob Cratchit because he heard his wife said mean things about him. Donald Trump is irredeemable. So, it's up to us to get rid of him.

Fifteen days to go.

[Rev / Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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