President Pull-Ups Big Mad Temper Tantrum! So Angry! Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp!

Trump

See that screengrab up there? That's a freeze frame of big strong mister man "president" Donald Trump. He is running away because some reporters who are women made him mad and upset him. To be entirely fair to the "president," it's also possible he pooped his pants and had to make a quick escape. It's also possible those two things are related.

'Don't Ask Me, Ask China': Trump Abruptly Ends Briefing When Asked About China Hostility | MSNBC www.youtube.com

CBS News reporter, Weijia Jiang, one of the heroes of this story, was the one what ruffled Trump's tailfeathers so. She asked why Trump is bragging about how America is doing THE MOST testing, as if it's some kind of competition, when Americans are still dying all over the place. (Also our testing regime is still absolute shit.)

And what she got from President Brain Worms was weird.


TRUMP: Well they're losing their lives everywhere in the world, and maybe that's a question you should ask 'GIIIIIIINA. Don't ask me, ask 'GIIIIIIIINA that question, OK? When you ask them that question, you may get a very unusual answer.

Trump tried to move on to a new reporter, but Jiang, an Asian-American who was born in China, asked why Trump said that to her, specifically. (It's because he is racist.) He said he was saying that to "anyone who would ask a NASTY QUESTION like that."

Trump then called on Kaitlan Collins from CNN, the other hero of the story, who wanted to give Jiang a chance to get her question answered. When Collins did that, Trump decided that on second thought, Colllins did not get to ask a question, even though he called on her, and within the space of a few seconds, the briefing was OVER and Trump was RUNNING AWAY like a BABY WHOSE LEGS WORK VERY WELL FOR ITS AGE.

It was weird.

'GIIIIIIIIIIIIINA!

'GIIIIIIIIIIIIINA!

We will never ever understand why people actually think Donald Trump is tough. He is the saddest, most pathetic whinyass crybaby alive on planet earth.

Rachel Maddow featured this clip on her show, even though she does not usually do news of the "Look at that stupid fucknuts president talking" variety. She used it as evidence that there is something coming apart in the president right now. And she is probably right, when you combine this with the fact that Trump spent the entire weekend barking the word "OBAMAGATE!" onto the world wide web, with no context, as if we all know what the crazy person is talking about when he barks "OBAMAGATE!"

DON'T ASK ME, ASK 'GIIIIIIIIINA! ASK 'GIIIIIIIIINA!

'GIIIIIIIIIINA!

Speaking of President Pull-Ups yelling "Obamagate!" there was a moment with that earlier in the briefing. Philip Rucker from the Washington Post attempted to get Trump to explain what is happening inside his unfortunate skull when he yells "OBAMAGATE!" What pictures does he see? Is there some kind of stroke-type event happening? Are there any fun hallucinations?

It did not go well, for the president's brain.


RUCKER: In one of your Mother's Day tweets, You appeared to accuse President Obama of the biggest political crime in American history, by far, those were your words. What crime exactly are you accusing President Obama of committing, and do you think the Justice Department should prosecute him?

TRUMP: Uh ... Obamagate! It's been going on for a long time! It's been going on from before I even got elected, and it's a disgrace that it happened, and if you look at what's gone on and if you look at now, all of this information that's being released, and from what I understand, that's only the beginning. Some terrible things happened, and it should never be allowed to happen in our country again. And you'll be seeing what's going on over the next, over the coming weeks, and I wish you'd write honestly about it, but unfortunately you choose not to do so ...

Philip Rucker was like UHHHHH OK, so he tried again. "What crime?" What crime, Donald Trump? What do you see? How many fingers am I holding up? What year is it? Sing "Happy Birthday." Count backwards from 10. Wait, you're kind of an idiot, count backwards from three.

TRUMP: You know what the crime is. The crime is very obvious to everybody. All you have to do is read the newspapers, except yours!

No, Donald, we don't know what you are seeing in your broken brain. Nobody does. And we don't think you do either. We don't think you have any kind of clear mental picture when you say "OBAMAGATE! OBAMADURRRRRR! DURRRRBAMAGATE!"

It's just pure anger at this point, from a barely functioning brain, and again, yes, to be fair to President Toughskins, maybe a surprise poop happening in his diaper, allegedly, which might have caused him to have to make a quick escape later, possibly, how would we know?

OBAMAGATE!

'GIIIIIIIINA!

In conclusion, look how stupid-looking he is from the side when he's tucking tail to run away:

To be entirely fair to Trump once again, he is also very stupid-looking from the front and the back, and probably when seen from space, by Astronaut Jesus.

The end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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