President Sore Loser Never Wanted This Crappy Job Anyway, So Screw You!
Donald Trump has refused to concede the presidential election he lost badly. This isn't a surprise because he's a garbage human being who doesn't care if he sets fire to American democratic traditions and norms. so long as he gets to have his tantrum. However, he's still not bothering to put on much of a show during the closing run of his presidency. He spent his weekend golfing, when not tweeting baseless conspiracy theories. (And he is doing that. As of this publishing, it had been about six minutes since Trump tweeted "I won the election!" He also tweeted this last night, along with approximately 50,000 braindead tweets and retweets and conspiracy theories. It might be a good time to go ahead and mute him.)
He just needs to start wearing slippers around the house and he'll have fully transitioned to retired conservative crackpot.
And the president has just arrived at his Virginia self branded golf property for a second straight day and his fou… https://t.co/ahHTSpznlc— Kelly O'Donnell (@Kelly O'Donnell)1605453364.0
Republicans would accuse Barack Obama of having “checked out" on his duties whenever he golfed or took a bathroom break. But the Obama era was pretty chill. The nation's fully on fire now, as COVID-19 cases are surging and millions of unemployed Americans are facing needless economic hardship. Trump has ignored the pandemic like it's Donald Trump Jr., but the virus, like his eldest son, is ugly and won't go away.
President Sore Loser didn't exactly have a John Henry work ethic before his electoral ass whooping. The Washington Post reports that Trump has stopped actively managing the coronavirus outbreak. He was just too busy helping COVID-19 spread at his maskless moron rallies and personally face planting into the virus last month. A senior administration official claims Trump hasn't attended a coronavirus task force meeting in “at least five months," which would've been around the end of May. The pandemic only managed to hold his peanut-brained attention for a few weeks. Once Americans cruelly rejected his bleach pitch, he was out.
Trump did emerge from his hole Friday, but he saw his shadow so we're stuck with six more weeks of the 2020 presidential campaign. He tried to take credit for Pfizer's COVID-19 vaccine, even though Pfizer's research and development isn't taxpayer-funded. Pfizer is an independent corporation responding to a market demand from people not wanting to die. All Trump did was say, “Yeah, we definitely want to pre-order that new iPhone."
Trump seems to be on the cusp of saying "the Biden administration," but catches himself and says "time will tell" https://t.co/6QaZV9TFOq— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar)1605303430.0
The vaccine is good news for Americans, but Trump, whose hair was gray because he missed his morning Crayola rinse -- allegedly -- looked deflated. He's already had COVID-19 and (wrongly) believes himself personally immune forever, and Pfizer didn't unveil the vaccine until after Biden beat Trump silly. It's impossible for Trump to express joy about anything that doesn't directly benefit him.
Trump also suggested New York would have to wait for a vaccine because Governor Andrew Cuomo said mean things about him, but it was a toothless threat because we know Trump's presidency is history as of noon on January 20. Even Trump briefly realized it before retreating into denial: He insisted that despite skyrocketing COVID-19 cases, America would never have another lockdown during his presidency, which will end in 66 days because almost 79 million Americans said so.
TRUMP: I will not go … this administration will not be going to a lockdown ... Hopefully, the, the … uh — whatever happens in the future, who knows which administration it will be, I guess time will tell — but I can tell you this administration will not go to a lockdown.
That was the extent of Trump's presidential cosplay. He left the White House Saturday for another round of golf, his motorcade rolling past his own stupid supporters at the Not-Even-Close-To-A-Million MAGA march.
President Trump’s motorcade drove by hundreds of supporters, who had gathered in Washington to protest the outcome… https://t.co/F1bzZJ0Npd— The New York Times (@The New York Times)1605374410.0
Trump is demanding to retain custody of America, but he can't even bear to spend the day with people who like him. All he ever wanted was the power and prestige of the presidency. He never cared about his associated responsibility to all Americans. That's not likely to change as he runs and hides from defeat.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."