President Tenderhearts So Upset Those People Chanted 'SEND HER BACK,' That's Not Christlike
Donald Trump is having feelings, you guys. He's just a simple man, trying to go speak the truth to his people about the Mexican rapists and the communist socialist America-haters and the Pocahontases and the Crooked Hillary and the witch hunt and the cancer windmills and the invisible F35 airplanes and the global warming bohonkus lies and the inauguration crowd you could see from the moon which is a part of Mars. But sometimes things get out of hand and the people who come to see you decide to act ugly, chanting "SEND HER BACK!" about a sitting United States congresswoman who came from Mogadishu as a child refugee. Why would they do that? Why would anybody think it's OK to be unkind or, God bless it, racist, in Donald Trump's presence? What gave them the idea he would condone that behavior? They should be ashamed of themselves.
Asked by reporters Thursday why he didn't stop the chant, he responded: "I think I did—I started speaking very quickly." He added: "I was not happy with it—I disagree with it." He also defended his supporters as "people who love our country."
It's true. He went silent and only allowed them to chant the mean thing four or eight or three hundred times, all while nodding admiringly, and then he started delivering his positivity gospel again once they stopped on their own accord. How did these ungrateful white supremacist pig turd people not see that as the disapproving reprimand it so obviously was? It is a mystery wrapped up in a conundrum wrapped up in a Big Mac wrapper wrapped up in a thicket of Yeti Pubes wrapped up in a white hood.
When Donald Trump tweeted that those four congresswomen, three of whom were born in America, should go the fuck back to their shithole countries, he did not mean for that to be racist, as he has many bones in his body, and none of them are racism bones. He has a funny bone and a charitable bone and a mild-mannered bone he would never use for anything but the most consensual of sex, but he does not have a racism bone.
And when his daughter-in-law Lara, who is married to his very normal and correctly shaped son Eric, warmed the crowd up beforehand, playing call-and-response with "If you don't love our country," and the crowd shouted back "Leave!", it never would have dawned on the president that they might up make up their own chant that means the exact same thing and is equally racist.
How did this happen?
On Thursday morning, Trump was heartbroken to find that his Jewish friend Ivanka, who is also his daughter (#HeLovesTheJews), was upset about what happened at that rally, because Trump gets heartbroken when he sees that others are heartbroken, especially if they are his Jewish friend who is also his daughter.
On Thursday morning, Ivanka Trump, Mr. Trump's daughter and White House adviser, expressed her displeasure to him about the "send her back" chant at his campaign rally the night before, White House officials said.
Even worse, Trump had upset the incredibly diverse and #woke Republican caucus, who told his Vice President, who is known for his Christian charity, how disappointed they were in Wednesday night's completely unfair and boorish eruption:
A group of House Republicans, including members of leadership, also complained to Vice President Mike Pence about the chant at a breakfast meeting, White House and congressional officials said.
But what could he do? He had walked his earlier tweets back, when he realized how he'd hurt people. Oh sure, he didn't technically and officially walk them back, but he did go the whole beginning of the week without saying that particular mindblowing and vicious racism, so what possibly gave his supporters the idea that he might like that?
White House officials said they had been asking allies in Congress to hold off criticism of Mr. Trump's tweets on Sunday, signaling that the president was going to walk back his social-media posts as soon as Monday. On Monday afternoon, Mr. Trump continued his attacks, but didn't use the specific phrase that the women should "go back" to their countries. He considered that to be sufficient, according to one person familiar with the matter.
Well, this is surely going to be a learning experience for the president, who is just agonizing over this.
At press time -- ALLEGEDLY! -- the president was thinking maybe it would help if he tweeted the N-word at Congresswoman Omar about 11 times during his Friday morning Poop-N-Tweet. WAIT, WHAT? NO, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! The only N-word Donald Trump knows is NICE, he wants to say how NICE Ilhan Omar is! Golly, why does everyone just assume Donald Trump is going to be racist?
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