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Prison Planet 'Baffled' By Stupid Citizens Turning In Their Guns After Newtown

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The not at all paranoid fellows at Prison Planet, previously known for very sane examinations of how Barack Obama is personallychopping up aborted babies for fun and profit, and also lots and lots of stuff about FEMA Camps, have a heartwarming holiday story about people willingly turning in their guns after the Newtown massacre. Wait, did we say "heartwarming"? We meant "baffling."


What’s particularly baffling about the willingness for law abiding people to relinquish their firearms is the fact that they are ensuring they will be defenseless in their own homes right before Christmas when criminals and burglars are more prone to strike.

Got that, Americans who have decided that in fact having a gun in the home might not be the best way to attain personal safety or be a positive for society at large? You are a fool. A FOOL! Because now you will be robbed and murdered, because "Christmastime."

This is actually one of the least insane Prison Planet stories we have ever read, since it just warns of robbers and grandma-rapers instead of insisting that the reason you need to keep yourself tactically armed is so's you can overthrow the government, like a boss, or take on the heathen Chinee, Red Dawn-styley.

[PrisonPlanet, via Wonket superoperative "chascates"]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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