Prosecutors Found The Florida Vote Frauders, And You'll Never Guess Who It Was!
Paging Mike Lindell and Donald Trump! Florida prosecutors have found the vote fraud and it is THREE GIPPERS FROM THE VILLAGES.
Yeah, don't faint. The GOP has been screaming for more than a year about a massive campaign of vote fraud to put Joe Biden over the top, accomplished via untraceable vote drops, or Italian space lasers, or Chinese thermostats. And all along it was just a handful of chucklefucks doing garden variety double voting by casting ballots in more than one state. DOH!
As Click Orlando was first to report, three registered Republicans were recently charged with casting votes in Florida and in another state via absentee ballot. Joan Halstead, John Rider, and Jay Ketcik are residents of The Villages, the monster senior living planned community in central Florida, which has become a Republican vote gold mine. But apparently some of it is fools gold, womp womp.
Halstead is charged with voting in Florida and New York. Ketcik allegedly cast his duplicate ballot in Michigan. (Oh, hey, didn't Biden win that one pretty narrowly?) Rider's arrest details had not appeared on the court website as yet, but he also was charged with casting two votes in the 2020 election.
Naturally, Republicans concluded that there must be no campaign of illegal vote fraud after months of searching for it turned up just three lone idiots, plus all the previous (Republican) lone idiots, and promptly apologized for flogging Big Lie without any actual evidence.
HAHA, just kidding. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis's spokesloon Christina Pushaw — yes really — sought to cast the arrests as supporting the GOP's dogged quest to make it harder to cast a ballot. “Multiple voting is unlawful,” she crowed, adding, “It isn’t a crime to be registered to vote in more than one state, as long as you only vote in one.”
Time to get rid of drop boxes, criminalize line warming, and require all voters to produce three forms of government ID. None of which would do a damn thing to stop entitled assholes voting out of state, but they definitely make it harder for people to cast a ballot, and you can't be too careful these days!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.