PSA For Beltway Media: Susan Collins Is Full Of Sh*t

Good morning, everyone! Did we all hear the splendid news that is splendid? It is that very moderate and reasonable GOP Senator Susan Collins is making vague gestures about how she "supports" codifying the protections of Roe v. Wade into law! Oh how brave she is. And on the very same day the Supreme Court justice credibly accused of sexual assault telegraphed that he was looking for a calm and rational way to murder Roe in its bed, and also Casey, the case that affirmed it. We are sure she is concerned, indeed.

NBC News reporter Sahil Kapur alerts us to the news, and we know it's news, because Sahil Kapur says it is:

Reporting this as news is stupid for a couple reasons. First of all, Collins has said this before, so it doesn't have the benefit of being "new," which is what "news" usually is supposed to be. In fact, as clearly as we can recall, Collins tends to say it whenever people start glaring at her for being the useful idiot who voted to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, because she was allegedly swayed by his assurancesobvious lies that he considered Roe and Casey to be settled law he had no interest in messing with.

It's also stupid because it's pointless and of zero consequence. If Susan Collins gave a flying fuck about abortion rights, she of course wouldn't have voted for Kavanaugh, and she would have at some point over the past one million years tried to do something to codify them into law. Susan Collins absolutely knows that for the Senate to codify Roe into law, it would have to get around the filibuster. Does Collins support eliminating or creating a carveout in the filibuster to make that happen? Nah. She's probably also aware that any codifying some hypothetical imaginary Congress was able to do might very well not survive challenges in the courts in a country where the Supreme Court has JUST FUCKING OVERTURNED ROE V. WADE.

Oh, and does she support the actual bill that's in Congress to codify Roe? No, not that one. She's concerned about that one, very concerned. She's working very hard on her own bill, you betcha.

A reasonable reader might expect the MAJOR SCOOP Sahil Kapur got to feature new and inspiring information about how the senator has a new spring in her step after listening to Brett Kavanaugh explain 100 reasons in yesterday's oral arguments why actually precedent doesn't matter in cases involving abortion rights, because fuck you is why. Let's see about that:

"Senator Collins supports the right to an abortion and believes that the protections in the Roe and Casey decisions should be passed into law. She has had some conversations with her colleagues about this and is open to further discussions," a spokeswoman, Annie Clark, said in an email.

She's had some conversations! She is open to having some more!

Meanwhile, Brett Kavanaugh is over here insinuating with his little partisan hack mouth that the "neutral" position for SCOTUS would be to overturn Roe and Casey and leave abortion to the states, and if Mississippi decides to handle it "different" from California, well so be it.

Here's the thing. Unless Susan Collins is stupider than Ron Johnson, she doesn't actually give a shit about Roe or abortion rights or anything besides her own power. Unless she is stupider than Ron Johnson, she knew Bart O'Kavanaugh was lying when he swore he'd protect Roe, and she knew it when she was out on the interview circuit regurgitating the lies he told her. Unless she is stupider than Ron Johnson, none of this actually causes her "concern," because it doesn't personally affect her. She's a garbage human being. Any news analysis that leaves these parts out is just some Beltway "both sides" ass-kissing in service of access, and nothing more.

Look at her lazy weak shit reaction to yesterday's oral arguments:

That's about as pathetic as back when they'd ask Republicans about Donald Trump's latest disgusting tweet, during the olden days when he was allowed to have a Twitter account. A person who actually gave a fuck would have something to say in response to what happened yesterday. And by the time Kapur's reporting had come out, all Collins's office had mustered was some pablum.

In case you can't tell, the thesis of this piece, which we have proven, is that Susan Collins can go fuck herself, and any Beltway journalist who gives her bullshit the time of day is a goddamned idiot.

[NBC News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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