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[Note from Evan: I make this every year, with few modifications besides whatever I do on the fly because I am feeling frisky. It takes some time, but oh damn it is worth it.]

Baking macaroni and cheese on a Monday night was a miserable experience. I had to boil water, tear the hell out of cheese, make a sauce, and then bake this whole deal before I had a chance to take off my bra. When I finally had time to sit down and browse through Faceborg, about ten million flame wars were happening in the two groups I even care about. Oh, and guess what else? No elbow macaroni on hand! I had to use the nice casarecce pasta I was saving for company.

Casarecce looks like ziti on Adderall and it picks up a ton of gooey sauce. It is amazing. Yet here it is on Wonkette in a mac and cheese. [Note from Evan: If you can't find casarecce, just use penne. It's fine.]

Listen to me, this was delicious. For the entire five minutes I had to eat my dinner, I didn't have a crap to give. I served our mac and cheese with thyme-stewed Roma tomatoes canned over the summer (BY MYSELF), though you will most likely pop open a can of something and eat it with a parfait spoon. Only God knows what you do, and it's not my business.


Ingredients

1 box of Casarecce pasta, boiled and drained

¾ stick of butter, sliced

½ c. all-purpose flour

4 c. milk (1 quart okay!)

3 c. extra-sharp cheddar, shredded

½ small wheel of Brie, skin removed

¼ c. crumbled bleu cheese

½ c. Parmesan cheese

Topping

1 c. breadcrumbs

1 c. of cheddar

¼ c. Parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 350º. In a large saucepan, melt the butter on medium heat and mix in the flour until smooth and bubbly. Pour in milk and stir continuously, to thicken the béchamel sauce. Turn the heat to low and stir in the cheese. When it has melted completely, remove from heat and pour in the pasta. Stir it gently.

Lightly grease a large casserole pan. Pour in the cheese and pasta and spread it evenly. Shake the remaining cheeses and breadcrumbs in a (sealed) freezer bag until well blended. Top the pasta and bake for about 30 minutes.

No, of course this didn't sound difficult. That's because it wasn't you doing it.

Everyone in my house was very comforted with mac and cheese for grown-ups. We hugged, AND I managed to clean out the cheese drawer before Christmas. You want lunch? That is good information, and you're taking some green beans with you, too. Enjoy!

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CLEAR YOUR CALENDARS FOR FEBRUARY 7! And then fill them back up with whatever the fuck you want, because Michael Cohen has announced through his lawyers that he is too scared to testify before an open session of Congress that day, citing threats to his family from Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani.

Wonkette has no reason to believe Cohen isn't being serious here, and NBC News reports Cohen's wife and father-in-law are particularly concerned about their safety if the man who used to call his boss MIS-TURRRR TWUMP goes to Congress and tells the truth this time. Still, we must pause to note that this is the same guy who said this to NPR reporter Tim Mak, back when Mak was at The Daily Beast:

"I will make sure that you and I meet one day while we're in the courthouse. And I will take you for every penny you still don't have," Cohen told Mak [...] "And I will come after your Daily Beast and everybody else that you possibly know."

"So I'm warning you, tread very fucking lightly, because what I'm going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting. You understand me?"

It's not so fun when the shoe is on the other foot, IS IT, MICHAEL?

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Did Nancy Pelosi do something to give Donald Trump the mistaken impression he has leverage here? We don't remember her doing anything like that!

Trump sent Pelosi a letter this morning to say that, despite how she told him to stay the fuck out of her House because of his government shutdown, he would still be coming to the House on January 29 to deliver his State of the Union address. And for some weird-ass reason, Trump and his advisers in the White House actually thought she would back down. It's both hilarious and alarming that Trump and his people are that stupid, isn't it?

Anyway, Pelosi took the dare. She took the dare. Was there anybody besides those dumb fucking idiots in the White House who thought she wouldn't take the dare?

Pelosi sent a letter right back to Trump to kindly explain to him that no means "go fuck yourself," and that if he'd like her to stick her foot further up his ass and kick it around a bunch, he's welcome to test her some more:

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