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Maine Governor Paul LePage is SO MAD, you guys. He is SO MAD. In fact, he is fighting mad, literally!


You see, a TV reporter asked LePage what he would say to people who thought he might be a tad racist! LePage, shocked, asked him who on earth the reporter had spoken to about this. He said he'd spoken to Democratic Maine Rep. Drew Gattine, but did not explicitly say that Gattine had called him a racist. Rep. Gattine said he didn't call the Governor a racist, he had just told the reporter that "the kind of racially charged comments the governor made [about Maine's heroin addiction problem] are not at all helpful in solving what the real problem is."

Quick flashback: As you may recall, earlier this year LePage made a speech at a local town hall in which he said this:

"These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty. These types of guys, they come from Connecticut and New York. They come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue that we got to deal with down the road."

Which is a pretty strange thing for a not-racist person to say! And then he later explained that he totally had to say racist things in order for anyone to pay attention to him:

“I had to go scream at the top of my lungs about black dealers coming in and doing the things that they’re doing to our state,” he said … “I had to scream about guillotines and those types of things before they were embarrassed into giving us a handful of DEA agents. That is what it takes with this 127th [legislature]. It takes outrageous comments and outrageous actions to get them off the dime.”

Now, despite having said these things out loud, in front of other people, LePage could hardly believe anyone would think he was a racist! So when he heard that Gattine thought he was, he called him up and left him a very calm, well-reasoned explanation of whyGattine was mistaken in thinking he was a racist:

Mr. Gattine, this is Gov. Paul Richard LePage. I would like to talk to you about your comments about my being a racist, you cock-sucker. I want to talk to you. I want you to prove that I’m a racist. I’ve spent my life helping black people and you little son of a bitch, socialist cock-sucker. You… I need you to… Just friggin’. I want you to record this and make it public because I am after you. Thank you.

Well, he did say "Thank you," at least.

Feeling that his voicemail was not enough to really drill his point home, LePage then called up the Portland Press Herald and a crew from local television station WMTW for a 30-minute interview to talk about how mad he was that Gattine and others were going around saying mean stuff about him, and then expressed his desire to challenge Gattine to a duel, as one does:

“When a snot-nosed little guy from Westbrook calls me a racist, now I’d like him to come up here because, tell you right now, I wish it were 1825,” LePage said. “And we would have a duel, that’s how angry I am, and I would not put my gun in the air, I guarantee you, I would not be (Alexander) Hamilton. I would point it right between his eyes, because he is a snot-nosed little runt and he has not done a damn thing since he’s been in this Legislature to help move the state forward.”

Apparently it is cool to say you want to murder a legislator so long as you say you only want to murder him in a duel in 1825? There is no word yet on whether or not Gattine is even interested in fighting the governor in a duel to the death, but it is fairly likely he does not.

[Portland Press Herald]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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