Rand Paul Too Busy Being Cowardly And Selfish To Get Vaccinated

coronavirus

We pretty much figured Kentucky GOP Senator Rand Paul was the kind of asshole who wouldn't get vaccinated, but it's now official. He bolstered his asshole credentials Sunday and declared during an interview on John Catsimatidis's radio show that he's “made the personal decision" to fuck over herd immunity.

Here's what the asshole had to say for himself:

PAUL: Until they show me evidence that people who have already had the infection are dying in large numbers or being hospitalized or getting very sick, I just made my own personal decision that I'm not getting vaccinated because I've already had the disease and I have natural immunity.

Paul can't comprehend that a functioning mammal might considering vaccinating themselves against COVID-19 because it will benefit the general public, not just their own sorry ass. This is peak libertarianism and it's gross.


Dr. Kristin Englund, who unlike Paul is an infectious disease expert, has patiently explained why everyone should get vaccinated, even people who've already recovered from COVID-19.

"Even though you've had COVID-19, it's still very important for you to get the vaccine," Dr. Englund says. "We know that a small number of people can get covid-19 a second time."

But Paul isn't interested in “small numbers." We guess he needs to see Andromeda Strain-levels of death before he'll consider having someone stick a needle into his little baby arm.

GOP Rep. Adam Kinzinger smacked Paul around on Twitter Sunday. He stated with dripping sarcasm: “So brave ... such a leader ... so manly."

Paul boasts about his "natural immunity," but the science isn't clear on how long natural immunity from COVID-19 lasts. Pfizer's ongoing trial reveals that its two-dose vaccine remains highly effective for at least six months and potentially longer. The same is true of Moderna. Paul contracted COVID-19 (and ran around apparently exposing his fellow senators to the virus) more than a year ago.

COVID-19 vaccines greatly reduce the risk of viral transmission, and decent people want to avoid making other people sick. It's like we live in a society and not Ayn Rand's Fuck You Funhouse. Vaccines are also proven to protect against the COVID-19 variants that are currently breeding like crazy in Florida.

An article in Nature Medicine broke down the situation in terms Americans might understand or at least pay to see multiple times in a movie theater:

This initial phase of the pandemic could be considered like the plot of an action movie that begins with a character (the virus) running freely across the globe, eluding capture until being finally sent to jail (built by natural immunity). However, if this prison is not secure enough, the virus could escape, aided by certain mutations. Vaccine-induced immunity achieved via spike-protein antigens based on VoC should help ensure those escape routes are securely closed. But the movie has not yet ended. Although we are confident that second-generation vaccines and mAbs are capable of controlling the virus, whether the virus will continue to surprise by finding new and unexpected escape routes remains an open question.

Kentucky's senior senator, Mitch McConnell, has received the vaccine like a grownup and advised other Americans to do the same. He's not interested in ruling over a devastated country where he stands ankle-deep in human skulls like a nightmare future where Lex Luthor is president.

Meanwhile, Paul wears his medical ignorance and lack of intellectual consistency like a scarlet “A" for “asshole."

PAUL: In a free country, you would think people would honor the idea that each individual would get to make the medical decision, that it wouldn't be Big Brother coming to tell me what I have to do.

This is the same Rand Paul who opposes abortion rights and once tried to add a “Life At Conception" amendment to an unrelated flood insurance bill. His website states that “since Roe v. Wade, over 50 million children have died in abortion procedures," which is not how abortion works. His site's “Advocating for Sanctity of Life" page has a picture of a woman holding in her hands the tiny feet of a newborn, a common and misleading image anti-abortion advocates like to pass around. Paul is so goddamn “100 percent pro-life" that he won't cover his stupid face or get vaccinated, neither of which are as burdensome as donating a kidney or carrying a fucking pregnancy to term against your will.

PAUL: Are they also going to tell me I can't have a cheeseburger for lunch? Are they going to tell me that I have to eat carrots only and cut my calories? All that would probably be good for me, but I don't think Big Brother ought to tell me to do it.

This is also the same Rand Paul who grossly compared gender confirmation surgery to "genital mutilation" while questioning Assistant Secretary for Health Dr. Rachel Levine, a trans woman, at her confirmation hearing. He also thinks “Big Brother" should prevent trans children from playing high school sports according to their gender identity. When it suits him, Paul can shift completely from libertarian to prig.

Fuck this guy.

[Cleveland Clinic / Nature Medicine / The Hill]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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