Rand Paul Shouted To Death On Streets Of DC, Recovers In Time To Describe Martyrdom To Fox & Friends

Post-Racial America
Rand Paul Shouted To Death On Streets Of DC, Recovers In Time To Describe Martyrdom To Fox & Friends

Breonna Taylor was shot in her sleep. But the real victim here is Senator Rand Paul who was so rudely reminded of this woman's existence as he walked down the street of DC on his way back from the Republican National Convention.

After Trump's longass acceptance rant landed with a thud, the wingnut media quickly retreated to familiar territory: WHINING.

"The threats were to f— you up, to you know, to kill you," the Kentucky senator told the credulous Kurvy Kouch Krew at "Fox & Friends" this morning of his walk back to his hotel from the RNC's Hatch Act Jamboree. "The threats were if they could get ahold of you, and I truly believe with every fiber of my being, had they gotten at us, they would have gotten us to the ground. We might not have been killed. We might just have been injured by being kicked in the head or kicked in the stomach until we were senseless. You've seen the pictures. Most of the networks will not show the pictures of this. This is happening in all of our cities. It's got to stop and thank God for the police."

Okay, let's watch the tape, shall we? See if old Rand may be exaggerating a wee smidge about threats to murder him on the streets of DC.

So, literally no one is threatening to kill him. They're shouting Breonna Taylor's name over and over and over again as a DC cop shoves a bike into a protestor and gets shoved back. And although Senator Paul did sponsor the Justice for Breonna Taylor Act to prevent no-knock raids, he also singlehandedly blocked the anti-lynching bill on the grounds that it would do a disservice to the "real" victims of hate crimes by "conflat[ing] lesser crimes with lynching."

Kind of like conflating a couple dozen people yelling Breonna Taylor's name with a violent mob bent on murdering a US senator.

But how about we pull the aperture back more, see if there was actually a "crazed mob" of "over 100" threatening to pull a Rand Paul's neighbor on Rand Paul.

So every person is filming, and many of them are wielding professional camera equipment, suggesting that Paul is surrounded by at least as many cops and members of the press as he is actual protestors. Which is not to say that people in DC don't hate his guts. And sure, it's scary and unpleasant to get screamed at. But an attack? Bitch, please.

Not content to lie about being in actual danger, though, Paul went on to fabricate nonsensical claims about paid antifa protestors.

"I believe there are going to be people who are involved with the attack on us that actually were paid to come here, are not from Washington DC, and are sort of paid to be anarchists," he said. "This is disturbing because really, if you're inciting a riot that's a crime, but if you're paying someone to incite a riot that person needs to go to jail as well."

Yeah, okay, a bunch of pissed off Black guys in DC are "anarchists." You have to bring them in from, ummm, somewhere else because everyone in DC just loooooves the GOP. You bet! These weren't just people on the streets of their own town when Trump's best little golf buddy emerged from a party the Republicans hosted at taxpayer expense to scream lies about "Democrat cities" after coopting the National Park Service to greenlight a Thursday night fireworks display.

Here on Planet Earth, Rand Paul wandered into the middle of a protest because he's either (a) a complete idiot, or (b) looking for exactly this kind of photo op to feed the narrative that scary protesters are turning the city streets into a terrifying hellscape. Or, heck, maybe it's both.

Yeah, probably it's both.


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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