Rand Paul Stomper Wants an Apology From Lady He Stomped, Of Course

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Ex Rand Paul Bourbon County coordinator Tim Profittsort of apologized yesterday IF "it appeared overly forceful" when he stomped on that annoying MoveOn woman in the wig. But of course, as we all know, when you stomp on a person's head, it should really be that person apologizing to you. "I would like for her to apologize to me to be honest with you," he said. Yes, we would like you to be honest with us, Tim! Perhaps you can tell us if your mother used to stomp on your head? Or maybe a titillated thoroughbred? "She's a professional at what she does," he added, "and I think when all the facts come out, I think people will see that she was the one that initiated the whole thing." Whoa, whoa, whoa, did he also date-rape this girl? Oh, by the way, he has a very good reason why he had to get this girl on the ground to assault her.


Profitt also blamed the incident on his back pain. Footage shows that Profitt stomped down on Lauren Valle's head, neck and shoulder while she was being restrained by another man with her shoulder on the street and her head on the curb.

Back pain! The poor fellow. Teabaggers are very angry about the politics, but it's hard for them to get out of their scooters and do something extreme like a 1960s radical would. So young libruls have to be held down on the ground for it to be a fair fight with these panting world-hating cretins. [TPM]

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