Rapture Terror Alert Is Off the Charts
According to the world's major news organizations,the biggest news story on Earth right now is some made-up End of the World freakout -- all because some wacky old man with those radio stations broadcasting the religious stuff just cold decided the world was going to end today! Old people are weird. And the Wonkbot is back, with what is perhaps the final terror alert for any of us.
Also: New Zealand survived the Rapture! Good for them, we guess.