Ray Epps! Ray Epps! He's Here! He's There! He's Every F*cking Where!

In today's episode of Republicans Will Believe the Literal Dumbest Shit, we present to you a 'splainer on WHO IS RAY EPPS? thanks to Ted Cruz, the most useless boob in the Senate.

Or perhaps we should answer the question WHO RAY EPPS ISN'T? As in "Ray Epps is not a federal agent." Or "Ray Epps is not an FBI informant." And for good measure, "Ray Epps is not an Antifa provocateur." Because for months the wingers have been hyperventilating about all those things, even though they are complete bullshit.

As the Arizona Republic was first to report, Ray Epps is just some Trump loving Oath Keeper asshole from Arizona who traveled to DC on January 6 like all the other Trump loving Oath Keeperassholes and shot his mouth off to Tim “Baked Alaska” Gionet about the need to invade the Capitol to save the country.

"I don’t even like to say it because I’ll be arrested. I’ll say it. We need to go in to the Capitol," Epps hollered, as someone in the background muttered for him to shut the fuck up. And this makes sense, since the assembled crowd was certain that the streets were full of BLM and Antifa activists, both lying in wait to beat up the brave patriots who'd descended on the city and infiltrating the gathering for nefarious purposes.

Later footage showed Epps near the Capitol on January 6, but no evidence has shown him going into the building. (Presumably he didn't, since he's not under indictment.)

After January 6, when the FBI was rolling up hundreds of the insurrectionists, the fear of government infiltrators reached a fever pitch, with MAGAts warning each other about "glowies," AKA undercover FBI agents or informants, in their midst.

They were all paranoid, all the time. Amanda Moore, who spent a year undercover with these lunatics, describes being at a Stop the Steal rally in December where Proud Boys thought everyone was Antifa or BLM, and used it as a pretext to beat the shit out of randos in DC.

After the large crowd left, I walked by a couple in their 60s who were taking in the live music that had replaced [Alex] Jones’s megaphone chants. “I don’t like violence either, but if a Proud Boy stabbed the guy, he must have had a good reason,” the husband said. His wife nodded. “True. Why was he over here, anyway? He was probably going to try to hurt us.”

On top of which, the Dumbfuckistan caucus was still trying to work out which end of the chicken to copulate with on the subject of FBI FALSE FLAG NO INSURRECTION!!! So when Epps's name was removed from the FBI's most wanted list, naturally they jumped to the obvious conclusion that he was just some dipshit who hadn't broken any laws, the end.


Nope! Desperate to prove that Deep State federal agents had egged the crowd on to attack the Capitol — agents who worked for Donald Trump, the sitting president on January 6, but let's not get hung up on the subject of linear time — it has now become an article of faith on the right that Epps was an FBI agitator.

"How many January 6th protesters were actually working for the federal government?" Rep. Massie asked in December, retweeting the video of Epps again. "In October, I asked AG Garland while he was under oath and he refused to answer. He looked very nervous and worried when I showed him this video in that hearing."

Last week Reps. Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Three Names made word-shaped noises about a "Fedsurrection," a portmanteau they no doubt thought was very, very clever.

And then Ted Cruz, fresh off a vigorous paddling by Tucker Carlson — and not the kind he likes ALLEGEDLY — brought it up yesterday in a Senate hearing with FBI Assistant Director Jill Sanborn.

But while Sanborn was noncommittal, the House January 6 Select Committee was not.

“The Select Committee is aware of unsupported claims that Ray Epps was an F.B.I. informant based on the fact that he was on the F.B.I. wanted list and then was removed from that list without being charged,” committee spokesman Tim Mulvey stated. “The Select Committee has interviewed Mr. Epps. Mr. Epps informed us that he was not employed by, working with or acting at the direction of any law enforcement agency on Jan. 5 or 6 or at any other time, and that he has never been an informant for the F.B.I. or any other law enforcement agency.”

Rep. Adam Kinzinger, one of two Republicans on the Committee, is busy kicking Massie et al. in the dick over on his TL.

Which should put the matter to rest, but won't, because these assholes never apologize, they just continue to double down. Massie is currently fantasizing about dissolving the DOJ and the FBI in their entirety. Back the blue!

Oh, and PS, since the wingers are all howling, "Oh, now people who encourage riots are cool? If Little Adam Kinzinger likes Ray Epps so much why doesn't he marry him, hennnggghhh?" Epps shooting his mouth off 20 hours beforehand is not incitement, which has to precipitate (or be reasonably likely to precipitate) "imminent, lawless action." He's not an informant, or an agent, or a criminal. He's just a run of the mill asshole, and that's why the FBI interviewed him and let him go. Which is what the wingers should do, but won't.

[Logically / NYT / AZ Central]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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