Real American John McCain Just Askin' If Foreigner Ted Cruz Is Allowed To Be President

GRRRR Ted Cruz GRRRRRR

Mmmm, do you smell that? That, my friends, is the fragrance of Republicans slow-roasting Cuban spice-rubbed Ted Cruz on a spit. Isn't it delicious?

[contextly_sidebar id="QgmggfzbQ1OAA3I1FOZrCd6VrIncfphI"]After Donald Trump hint-hinted that it would be a yoooge mistake for Republicans to support a guy who WASN'T EVEN BORN HERE for president, and Ann Coulter twatted her constitutional expertise in agreement, Panamanian-born John McCain is taking a swing at his Senate colleague, whose guts he can't stand, too. Ever the gentleman, McCain isn't saying Cruz is ineligible to be president, just because he, like McCain -- who of course was eligible, duh -- was born outside of the United States. He's just saying it's worth speculating that maybe, dot dot dot, Cruz should choke on his  mas macho Real Man boots until he shits leather.

Asked whether he thinks Trump has a real good point there, McCain cracked his knuckles and punched Cruz right in his cheese curds:

“I don’t know the answer to that,” said McCain on theChris Merrill Showon KFYI550 on Wednesday of Cruz’s eligibility. “I know it came up in my race because I was born in Panama, but I was born in the Canal Zone which is a territory. [...]

“That’s different from being born on foreign soil so I think there is a question. I am not a Constitutional scholar on that, but I think it’s worth looking into. I don’t think it’s illegitimate to look into it.”

[contextly_sidebar id="b8ZhXzFDxRO9lQoGXP00JWR1K5rmHhmD"]It's a damn shame for Cruz that ever since he stomped his way into the Senate in 2012, he's managed to make all his coworkers, including -- no, wait, scratch that, especially -- in his own party, hate him so much. Maybe if he hadn't alienated his fellow Republicans by calling them a bunch of lying, toothless RINO dickweasels who don't love the Constitution, they'd be more willing to help a fellow out, like they did when McCain's eligibility was in doubt in 2008. Like, say, with a unanimous (that means bipartisan!) non-binding resolution declaring that of course McCain can be president -- constitutionally, anyway, though not for actual because Sarah Palin, LOL, and also McCain sucks.

However, Senate Republicans concur that Cruz is a disrespectful, childish, rule-breaking sack of crap:

“We are not here on some frolic, or to pursue personal ambitions,” [Sen. Orrin] Hatch said. “We serve the people, not our own egos.”

Hatch didn’t stop there, adding Cruz’s “misuse of the Senate floor must not be tolerated.”

“We must ensure that the pernicious trend of turning the Senate floor into a forum for advancing personal ambitions, for promoting political campaigns, or for enhancing fundraising activities comes to a stop,” he said.

[contextly_sidebar id="UmlU8ho2s8lzKSqPq6zaODiGaILCEc4E"]So yeah. Given Cruz's unpopularity outside of his dry-drunk daddy's heart and podunk tent revivals, we kinda doubt Cruz's colleagues will be rushing to his defense in the latest brouhahahahahaha of birtherism that is at least a legitimate question, since everyone hates him. And he's got some nerve, that guy, creeping up in the polls and starting to look as if he might just steal that nomination away from practically-president-already Trump. Perhaps, as his equally popular fellow Republican Sen. Rand Paul helpfully suggested , Cruz should give up and run for prime minister of Canada instead.

[ BuzzFeed / Yahoo / WaPo / TPM ]