You will need:

Flour Tortillas (fuck you, I know they suck, eat a choad b/c they work in this recipe)

Green grapes (not under UFW boycott since the '80s)

Brie cheese (do not eat if your name is Bree, since cannibalism etc.)

EVOO (extra virgin olive oil, butter is fine if you only have that)

Some kind of finishing salt. And sugar. Take one part salt and one part sugar and combine. (TRUST ME)

And!

If you’re super-elite, you can marinate your grapes in some kind of port wine/black pepper combo. ONLY IF YOU ARE BOSS HOG ON CANDY.

Here we go!

Step one. Put a tortilla on a flat surface. A cutting board, or if you’re me, a countertop.

Step two. Slice brie really thin, and lay it over said tortilla.

Step three. Slice up a quintillion grapes, width-wise. Lay them over the brie.

Step whatever. Get a pan out, one that’s big enough for your tortilla.

Step fuck you. Heat your pan with that EVOO or butter, ON MEDIUM HIGH HEAT.

Step I hope this tastes ok. Put that tortilla down, with all its brie and grape goodness. Add a 2nd tortilla on top immediately.

Step umpteen million: wait like 90 seconds. Check your stupid wonkette or FB.

Step whatever, part ii. Flip quesadilla with a spat.

Step ______.: wait about a minute.

Step integer: make sure both sides are golden brown and hella deliciouse. Cheese should be melty, etc.

STEP ARE WE DONE NOW, FUCK THIS SHIT WE WANT TO EAT STEP: is it done? Are both sides golden and crisp? Or as they say in Gaul, CROQUE?

Ok- we’re done

Remove from heat, you’re burning it already.

Place on a cutting board (or countertop if you’re punk rock and shit) and slice with a nice sharp knife.

Sprinkle from up high, your sugar/salt combo.

SERVE IMMEDIATELY