Relax, Ladies, Donald Trump Will Let Planned Parenthood Treat Your Wherevers
So here's something that might, in a different political year or for a different candidate, actually get Donald Trump in trouble with his Republican supporters: Trump said on CNN Tuesday morning that he would be OK with keeping some federal funding for Planned Parenthood. Not that any of his supporters actually give a rat's fundament about his "policies" -- because he has none, really, other than Making America Great Again, which covers everything. But if anyone on the right wanted to, they might have some fun with this snippet of an interview with Chris Cuomo, where Trump carefully lays out how he'd handle Planned Parenthood:
TRUMP: I would look at the individual things that they do, and maybe some of the things are good, and maybe, I know a lot of the things are bad. But certainly the abortion aspect of it should not be funded by government, absolutely.
CNN: So you would take a look at it before you'd defund it. That's what's being asked right now. Many in your party are doing the opposite. They're saying defund it, and then look at it. You're saying look at it first.
TRUMP: I would look at the good aspects of it. I'm sure they do some things properly and good and good for women. And I would look at that.
Doesn't Donald Trump know that Planned Parenthood fits every Biblical definition of evil? But he's quite sure that we should cut the federal funds that pay for abortions, which are already nonexistent, but all Republicans know that there's secretly federal money paying for abortions all the time anyway, and Obamacare probably forces women to have abortions for a dollar, too.
Still, after all the recent misunderstandings about angry crazy Megyn Kelly and her hormonally imbalanced nose, it's awful nice to see Donald Trump already out there living up to his pledge to be the YOOGEST president for women in history, when he said he's the exact opposite of Jeb! Bush, who hates women and wants them to die: “I’m the exact opposite. I cherish women. I want to help women. I want to do things for women that no other candidates can do.” He's not just a classy real estate developer, he's Barry Fucking White.
Or at least Trump sounded like he wouldn't be in favor of trashing Planned Parenthood for a few minutes on Tuesday. By the time of the next debate, he'll be explaining that he only said he'd be willing to fund the good parts, but that after careful examination, there are no good parts. Or maybe he only meant that Planned Parenthood is bleeding from its nose and ears.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.