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Remembering Our Fallen Week: The Worst Hanukkah Ever

- We learned that compromise in the Senate means giving into every Republican demand, ever, and that disagreeing just makes you a partisan hack.
- Just to prove the president's point, several of those partisan hacks in the lesser legislature had a big old tantrum to oppose the president and his billion-dollar Hanukkah gift to Joe Lieberman.
- John McCain and his "special friends" once again secured their god-given right to make homosexuals ashamed of their very existence.
- Some Internet heroes tried to shut down Sarah Palin's squawk box because she criticized WikiLeaks for its great crime of not being born in America.
- According to WikiLeaks, serving cheap food is the first step towards Socialism, leading that sneaky Barack Obama to mandate a Cici's Pizza be installed on every street corner in America.
- America's future unemployment seekers were challenged to go to outer space, where there might actually be some jobs.
- We learned that in case of Muslim apocalypse, all citizens should proceed to their local BBQ restaurant, where they will be safe from Allah's pork-allergic all-seeing eye.