Donate

Republican Congressman Don't Wanna Pay For No Ladies Having Babies

Sex

If there is any population that has the sympathy of the Right, it is the unborn. The unborn are much better and purer than the born, for reasons. They have not committed sins yet, like being born to poor people or anything like that, and everything possible must be done to protect them.

Anything, that is, other than expecting men who cannot give birth to have to pay for insurance that covers prenatal care. At least according to Illinois Congressman John Shimkus, who is apparently very unclear about how insurance or sex or human reproduction work. (He's in "good" company, though, since neither does House Speaker Paul Ryan.)

During a 27-hour long marathon House Energy and Commerce Committee on the new TrumpCare bill, Mr. Shimkus took some time to kvetch about how it is unfair for men like him to have to pay for insurance that covers prenatal care, because they are not the ones who were dumb enough to raise their hands when God was asking who wanted to take on the baby-having duties.

When Democratic Rep. Mike Doyle asked about specific mandates Republicans take issue with, “What about men having to purchase prenatal care? I’m just ... is that not correct? And should they?”

Doyle then explained that there is no such thing as "a la carte insurance" and that no insurance company in the world will let you go and do things that way. Shimkus explained that it should be, and that he and other consumers would like to do things that way.

Of course, the way insurance works is that everyone chips in to a big pool of money, and then that money is there when you need it to cover your medical bills. It's not just you contributing towards you and the specific things that affect you, personally, or we ladies would all have carveouts for Viagra and prostate and/or nut cancer. Of course, given the fact that most of us are not test tube babies, most of us have been born, and are thus the beneficiaries of prenatal care insurance ourselves (as well as the beneficiaries of sperm, which have usually come from men).

Now, I realize that it is a distinct possibility that Mr. John Shimkus has never had sexual intercourse and perhaps does not even know how babby is formed or how girl get pragnet. However, those of us who have had the kind of sex that can lead to babby being formed, or at least comprehensive sex-ed, are aware of the fact that men are integral to the babby forming process.

Until women figure out the whole asexual reproduction thing, babby cannot be formed without sperm, often contributed by penis-havers just like him. Well, not just like him, most of us have standards. Anyway -- even if insurance didn't work the way it does, men who have heterosexual sex are just as responsible for the need for prenatal care as women are. Shocking, I know. Also, they are just as responsible for the need for birth control as we are. Because if we were not fucking them, those things would be unnecessary. Ta-da!

Hopefully, someone can sit Shimkus down ASAP and give him the birds and the bees talk, because he's a little old to not understand how any of this work.

[New Civil Rights Movement]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

$
Donate with CC

Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc