Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell Is NOT Going To Vote For Hillary's Vagina

Senate Majority Leader In Name Only Mitch McConnell (R-Literally A Tortoise) is not a big fan of the ladies. Oh, sure, he'll pretend he is, when he is running for re-election. He will try to make with the sweet pillow talk, all like, "Heyyyyyyyyyy ladies, I support the Violence Against Women Act, because you shouldn't smack your bitch up," but then he'll vote against it because he thinks it is OK to smack your bitch up if she's a lesbian bitch with brown skin. He's that kind of feminist. You know, the kind that is bad at feminisming.

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Also? McConnell is not Ready For Hillz, but it's not because she is a Democrat, oh no. (But yeah huh, actually.) It is because of how she is always saying she is qualified to president us because of her girl slit. That is SO lame, and Real Feminist McConnell is tired of hearing her say that, all the time. Look, here is a video, even, of McConnell slit-splaining, from his face: "I don't think arguing 'vote for me because I'm a woman' is enough."

That's funny, because we are kinda definitely certain Hillary Clinton has mentioned some other qualifications that are not about her vagina at all whatsoever, because when you're a lawyer and activist and former senator and former secretary of state, you build up a pretty decent LinkedIn profile, even without the porn selfies attached. In fact, the only candidate we have heard arguing her yoni deserves your votes is that other woman, Carly Fiorina, who is always yadda yadda-ing about how, as a lady, she can neutralize Hillary Clinton's ladyparts with her own, like no other Republican candidate can, with their unladylike penises, and then no one can play the gender card, just as soon as she's done playing it, so vote for Carly!


McConnell also said that "the gender card alone isn't enough." Too bad for McConnell, Hillary Clinton is a whole lot more smarter than he is, so she saw his "gender card" and raised him and full house royal flushed him too:

And that is how Hillary won, again, with the ladypart that is her brain. And how she's gonna Reagan-style LANDSLIDE this mofo in 2016 if Republicans keep making it so damned easy for her, with their sorry-butted "attacks," and also with the wanting Trump to be their guy, LOL, yes please do that. Why, it's almost too easy.

[HuffPo / Frank Thorp on Twitter]


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