Republicans Sue Nevada For Tort Of 'But Tucker Carlson Says Trump Won'

What is it with the GOP and Nevada? The state has a Democratic governor, two Democratic senators, and the Blue Team holds both houses of the legislature and three of four congressional seats. And still, Republicans think they're going to claw it back into their column, apparently by dint of filing dozens of pointless lawsuits.

Yesterday they dropped another three turds in the Silver State's punch bowl in a ridiculous attempt to overturn the results of the presidential election. Their main argument appears to be that the state's signature matching machines sucked, and thus the election is invalid.

How do they know that the machine errors were significant enough to overcome Biden's 34,000-vote margin? Ummm, something something vote by mail?

The proof of potential voter fraud due to the irregularity of the voter process is overwhelming. The glaring scenario no one wants to think is the obvious: those undeliverable addresses from the Primary were mailed ballots somehow or somewhere those ballots were processed and counted as voted through the "new" ballot processing procedure which is compounded by the lack of a proper signature verification process as demonstrated by the Declarations concerning the Agilis issues and the signatory observer's observations of the process.

When you figure out what the hell those words mean, please let us know the number of your dealer.

This passage is from two identical lawsuits filed yesterday in Nevada against Clark County Registrar Joseph Gloria and "DOES I through X; and ROE CORPORATIONS I through X, inclusive." The plaintiffs are Jim Marchant, a Republican candidate who lost to Democratic incumbent Rep. Steve Horsford, and April Becker, who mounted an unsuccessful challenge to Nevada Senate Majority Leader Nicole Cannizzaro. Marchant and Becker are bigly mad that the legislature changed the law to allow absentee ballots to be mailed to all registered voters, and they're bigly mad that some of those ballots were fed into signature-matching machines, and they're bigly mad that Clark County Registrar Joseph Gloria didn't purge 40 percent of the county's voters from the rolls for failing to return a postcard confirming their addresses.

For the record, it would have been illegal for Mr. Gloria to purge those voters for simple failure to read their mail — the Supreme Court ruled in 2018 that voters can only be purged if they fail to return a postcard and then fail to vote in a subsequent election. And while we're consulting the record, we should note that the Trump campaign already tried to get the Agilis machines tossed, and failed. Also, the court refused to enjoin the state's mail-in ballot practices or the procedures for allowing poll watchers to monitor the count. Oh, and Clark County officials said they dealt with the Agilis machines' high false negative rate by hand-checking the 70 percent that were rejected as "no match." But other than that, A+ lawyerin'!

What's that old saying? “If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, attach Tucker Carlson rants as exhibits"?

Oh, you thought we were kidding?

The plaintiffs support their claims of widespread vote fraud by citing "at least 225 voters who voted BOTH by Mail AND by Early Vote countywide" — note they don't say those votes were counted twice — and "57 ballots returned as undeliverable in the Primary. Contrary to election laws, mail ballots were mailed to these same addresses in the General and these mail ballots were returned." But by their math, 223,469 out of approximately 1.4 million Nevada voters fall into the undeliverable category and must thus be purged from the rolls.

Those plaintiffs are only asking to have the election re-run. But in the other "What Happens In Vegas" lawsuit filed yesterday, the plaintiffs are just asking the court to declare Trump the winner, or, in the alternative, to prevent the certification of a result, so that Nevada fails to cast its six electoral votes.

Did you think were were kidding again? WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?

The plaintiffs are the six proposed Trump electors, including this fine fellow, who are suing the six proposed Biden electors for the same bullshit ballot frauding nonsense as the other guys. But also they're pissed that the Nevada Native Vote Project registered voters. Because Happy Thanksgiving, our Native American brethren!

The suit accuses the NNVP of buying votes by handing out gift cards and T-shirts at voter registration events. The remedy for this is to throw out 500 "illegal" ballots cast by members of the Lovelock Paiute, Elko, Maopa Paiute, Reno-Sparks, Duck Valley, and Battle Mountain Band native communities. Because of course it is.

"It's a baseless claim. We engaged with Trump voters and Biden voters across the board," NNVP strategy coordinator Ethan Doig told the Nevada Independent. Doig was also unimpressed with the plaintiffs' claim that the presence of Biden-Harris swag at voter registration events reflected NNVP's strategy. "If the Trump campaign and Nevada GOP had shown up and done events on tribal lands, they would have been in those photos as well. Who shows up is who counts."

And because we've read quite enough Trumpland bullshit lawsuits for one day, we're going to let Mr. Doig have the last word. THE END, and may God have mercy on their souls.


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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