Republicans Take Swing At Nancy Pelosi, Wind Up Punching Themselves In The D*ck

OMGOMGOMG! Republicans haven't been this excited since they got some stylist to ambush Nancy Pelosi at the beauty parlor. They caught the speaker of the House redhanded bypassing the metal detectors, and would like the Capitol Police to fine her all the moneys please, and make it snappy.

Spoiler Alert: No they didn't, they're just full of shit.

The GOP has had its knickers in a twist for months over the metal detectors Speaker Pelosi had installed at the entrances to the House floor. How very dare she infringe on their God-given Second Amendment rights to enter the seat of government with a sidearm as Jesus intended?

Then, after Republicans just shoved their way by the Capitol Police, only stopping to berate the very people who had just protected them from a crazed mob, she backed it up with fines of $5,000 for the first offense and $10,000 for subsequent infractions. And the money would be deducted directly from their paychecks, so they couldn't subsidize their rule breaking with campaign cash.

Naturally, Republicans lost their shit.

"This is an unconstitutional deprivation of my right to defend myself. Period. Full stop," Texas Rep. Chip Roy howled to the Washington Free Beacon. "I do not care what Speaker Pelosi says about it. I do not care what anybody says about it. That is what the Second Amendment means. That is why it is there." Then he threatened to sue, bless his heart.

In February, Reps. Rodney Davis, Barry Loudermilk, and Brian Steil, all members of the House Administration Committee, wrote to the acting sergeant-at-arms demanding that he fine Speaker Pelosi for violating her own rule.

"Yesterday, at approximately 9:59 am, multiple members observed the Speaker of the House entering the House Chamber without completing security screening," the Republicans huffed indignantly. "What was observed was a clear violation of House Resolution 73 and you are required by House Rules to impose this fine. Please inform us once the fine has been assessed."

To which the sergeant responded that he couldn't assess a fine because the Capitol Police (USCP), who do know how to complete a security screening thankyouverymuch, hadn't made a report of any security infraction.

"Only the USCP can determine whether an individual has failed to complete security screening as only the USCP has sufficient training to determine compliance with USCP screening procedures," he wrote. "I have directed that the USCP produce and provide unusual incident reports on any individual who fails to complete security screening without exception. I have not received any unusual incident report from the USCP concerning the Speaker of the House."

So everyone just rolled their eyes and went about their business. But now the GOP is back for another go, and this time they have "evidence."

As Olivia Beavers noted in this morning's Politico Playbook, Davis is incensed that Pelosi "evaded" the metal detectors by entering the chamber through the Speakers Lobby as she routinely does, being the Speaker.

"I saw the video of Speaker Pelosi avoiding her own security screening procedures from Feb 4. I personally witnessed her doing so that morning," he insisted. "The video proves what our letter said back in February. It's disappointing she has failed to hold herself to the same standards as others."

Pelosi's spokesman Drew Hammill says Pelosi was "wanded" when she entered the lobby, and the supposed gotcha footage adds up to exactly nothing.

"What this video proves is that Congressman Rodney Davis is both the most desperate man in Washington and completely unfamiliar with the layout of the U.S. Capitol," he told Politico. "The Speaker always enters the Chamber this way via the Speaker's Lobby when she opens the House, which is reaffirmed by watching CSPAN footage."

Which should put an end to the matter, but it'll probably wind up making the rounds of Wingnuttistan and wind up on Hannity by Monday.

Imagine if the GOP put a tenth of the energy into governing that they waste on literally the dumbest shit on earth.


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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