Lover of Moron.

Rex Tillerson awakened Wednesday morning to FAKE NEWS exclusively reported by NBC, what said he threatened to quit being Donald Trump's Secretary of State, and more importantly, that he called Trump a "moron." So goddangit, he had to do a press conference and let everybody know the truth! He loves the president like a common Anthony Scaramucci, and they are very happy together! Tillerson DID NOT deny calling Donald Trump a "moron," though, or even an "effing moron," which is what MSNBC's Stephanie Ruhle said SHE HEARD was the full quote.

Now, did the Trump White House leak this FAKE NEWS to NBC themselves, maybe because Trump looks like A Idiot right now after his weak and sad performance in Puerto Rico, and now that Trump is getting off AIR-PANE! in Las Vegas to tell grieving mass shooting victims about his Electoral College victory and throw paper towels at their heads? Who can say!

Regardless, Tillerson went out and kissed Trump RIGHT ON HIS ASS, saying how smart and good-looking the president is, and also insisting he NEVER "considered" quitting. He didn't deny ever threatening it, though, and again, he did not deny calling Trump a "moron" or a "fucking moron" or "President Fuck-Bonkers" or "TinyHands McPussGrab." (Wonkette may have added those last two naughty names.)

CNN reports:

"He loves this country. He puts Americans and America First. He's smart," Tillerson said in a hastily arranged statement from the State Department. "He demands results wherever he goes and he holds those around him accountable." [...]

"The vice president has never had to persuade me to remain as secretary of state because I have never considered leaving this post," he said.

Uh huh, and did you do name-calling to the president?

"The places I come from, we don't deal with that kind of petty nonsense." Tillerson said. "I'm just not going to be part of this effort to divide this administration."

Rex Tillerson comes from Exxon and Texas and the Boy Scouts, where you never confirm or deny whether you called the out-of-his-league leader of America a "moron" or a "dipshit" or a "ginormous pervy waste of space who can't even read, allegedly." It's just not polite!

When it was announced that Tillerson would be making impromptu remarks, there was speculation that maybe he would resign. But then Trump kind of threw a bucket of Russian pee on that speculation with this tweet, which suggested he wasn't about to "YOU'RE FIRED!" Tillerson:

Whatever, champ.

After Tillerson's presser, Trump again squatted on his gold-plated toilet and pinched off a tweet:

Except for the part about how Trump is a fucking M-O-R-O-N and Rex Tillerson knows it.

NBC stands by its reporting, and an MSNBC reporter said the network "would not be issuing an apology to America" for telling everybody this very good and true gossip the Secretary of State pointedly did not deny. So, the choice is yours, America: Who you gonna believe? The pathological liar moron president or literally everyone else?


Anyway, Tillerson's still out by the end of the year. Bet your ass on it.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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