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Dashboard Buddha's avatar

I just attended my employee orientation day from my employer this week. I'd say my <i>new</i> employer, but I've been working there since July. Ah well, it was a day off the phones and I got a reusable shopping bag with the company emblem on it.

Anyway, one of the things our presenter pimped up was just how much our employer gives to charity...ain't we great, while showing slides of our charitable events. It was pretty hard to see what the cause even was unless you managed to peel back all of the corporate fanfare. "Oh...this little get together is about athlete's foot. Ok!" All I could think was fuck you you fucking whore. A lot of money our employer "donates" comes in the form of employee donations i.e. matching contributions. If you give us $5, we'll match it! OMG...look how generous Corprobank is! They donated umpty-thousand dollars to help end the heartbreak of athlete's foot! Don't get too excited though because half of that came from the employees themselves and they had to take a fucking personal day to attend the event.

If my company were at all sincere about helping babies or ending cancer and not at all in marketing and "brand projection" (the presenter talked a lot about our "brand" during the day. FML), we'd give 50 large to some charity and say, look...here's $50,000 but keep on the downlow. Just keep helping those babies. God bless. I'd like to see my employer take the money it spends on our quarterly recognition mutual masturbatory event and give it to marching babies. No can do...the charity thing is our selling bullshit to them outside the bank and the Mutual Masturbatory Event is the selling to them what works inside the bank.

Fuck the rich and double fuck any of the poor (or whatever passes for poor - middle class works) that think we should idolize the rich. You're one of the reasons these diseased fucks have so much money and power.

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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

One word.... garlic.

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