Rich People Officially Win Class War

News
  • The House is expected to vote today on extending tax cuts for the greediest 98 percent of Americans, "the middle-class" -- the war merchants, sweatshop owners and oil barons who have gang-raped all six continents while simultaneously ruining any hope of a peaceful, simple existence for America's persecuted minority, the struggling single mom billionaires. But don't worry, you don't need to sign the Amnesty International petition to "stop the exploitation of trillionaires" -- not yet at least! Because that Orange Thing knows this vote is nothing more than "a Washington stalling tactic with job-killing implications," which is totally unacceptable. Are there any jobs left to "kill" at this point? No, they are all already dead, since "the economy has such limited job openings that even if every open position in the country were filled, four out of five unemployed workers still wouldn't be able to find a job." So yeah, that's why we must cut unemployment benefits for millions of Americans and let rich people hoard all their money. Guess who lost the Class War? [Fox News/MSNBC/ThinkProgress]
  • Prosecutors will not charge John Ensign with "conspiracy to fuck a friend's wife, then help said friend find a lobbying job." There was zero evidence to support this ridiculous claim. [NYT]


  • The House will (also) probably vote today on whether to censure Charlie Rangel. Hooray, maybe they'll finally "pass" something? [CNN]

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