Rick Perry: Even Dumber Than You Thought. No, Even Dumber. No, Even DUMBER.
Er, how does that saying go again?
We're just going to keep begging for someone -- anyone, please, anyone at all -- to make it stop for poor, dumb BUT LIKE REALLY DUMB Rick Perry. Please.
See, on Thursday afternoon, Donald J. Trump, of the Donald J. Trump empire, and also of the Republican presidential primary fucktasm, speeched all over the TV, as he loves to do, about how he is Donald J. Trump, and you're not. And that all those weak loser Republican candidates he's supposedly competing against, but really kicking their butts so it's like it's not even a competition, DEFINITELY are not. And when they try to come at Donald J. Trump as if they are Donald J. Trump, they just end up hurting themselves. Hell, Trump said, look at Rick Perry, he tried to whip his mean out at Trump, and now he's not even in the race anymore!
"Perry attacked me," Trump said, "now he's getting out of the race! He was at 4 or 5 percent. Now he's getting out of the race -- he was at zero."
This was news to Rick Perry, who thinks he is TOO still in the race, even though the rest of the world knows that nah, dude, not really. But, despite our pleas for mercy, nobody has the big classy balls to tell Perry the truth -- except for Trump, of course!
So Perry, who happened to be scheduled to appear on Fox News for some reason, said, "No I am still running for president and Trump is a dumb stupid dummy."
And no, you're not the moron for not understanding what the flippity DO WHAT NOW HUH? Perry is even talking about. He's just dumb. Super dumb. All kinds of dumb. Dumb and dumb and so dumb JESUS ON THE CROSS what a dumb! Just like how Trump said earlier this summer, when he joked -- only he probably wasn't joking at all -- that Rick Perry is too damned dumb to be allowed on a debate stage:
So yeah, there you have it. Yr Wonkette and Donald J. Trump are the only ones brave enough to say what we're all thinking, which is that Rick Perry's playtime is over, even if he doesn't realize it yet.
After Trump casually removed Rick Perry from the race, he also confirmed that yes, he has promised the Republican National Committee he totally won't run as an independent candidate, even if the party gives the nomination to some low-energy loser like Jeb! Bush, who LITERALLY puts his audience to sleep when he drones words from his face. (Yes, literally. Actually literally.)
Like we said, Donald J. Trump's loyalty oath pledge promise means basically nothing whatsoever, because he can do whatever he wants, and that piece of paper he signed means ZERO ZIP NOTHING. But also? At his current rate, he just might be the Republican nominee anyway, since he keeps kicking all the butts in all the polls. And then his "promise" really won't matter at all.
Best. Republican primary. EVAH!