Rick Perry: 'I Am A Huge Alcoholic. Therefore, Gays.'


Rick Perry is so smart now with his supersexxxy Clark Kent glasses. (Shut up, yes he is!) He is very intelligent now, and the reason you know he is all intellectual-like is he made an an-al-ogy about how homos puttin' their wangs in each other's no-no's is just like bein' a alcoholic. Like him! Rick Perry!

“I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.”

As ThinkProgress points out, Perry has never loved men who love men. When the Supreme Court struck down Texas laws against sodomy, he called them "nine oligarchs in robes."

(We'd say Rick Perry forgot the existence of Rehnquist, Thomas and Scalia -- oops -- but he's probably one of the idiots who think the Supreme Court has 12 justices all together, in which case his math would be right, marred only by being based on a faulty premise caused by being Rick Perry.)

Anyway, Rick Perry is an alcoholic, so gay people should just shut up and put their dicks in a lady. Maybe not all the same lady. Seems like it might get crowded in there.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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