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Rick Perry: 'I Am A Huge Alcoholic. Therefore, Gays.'

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Rick Perry is so smart now with his supersexxxy Clark Kent glasses. (Shut up, yes he is!) He is very intelligent now, and the reason you know he is all intellectual-like is he made an an-al-ogy about how homos puttin' their wangs in each other's no-no's is just like bein' a alcoholic. Like him! Rick Perry!

“I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.”

As ThinkProgress points out, Perry has never loved men who love men. When the Supreme Court struck down Texas laws against sodomy, he called them "nine oligarchs in robes."

(We'd say Rick Perry forgot the existence of Rehnquist, Thomas and Scalia -- oops -- but he's probably one of the idiots who think the Supreme Court has 12 justices all together, in which case his math would be right, marred only by being based on a faulty premise caused by being Rick Perry.)

Anyway, Rick Perry is an alcoholic, so gay people should just shut up and put their dicks in a lady. Maybe not all the same lady. Seems like it might get crowded in there.

[SFGate]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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