Rick Santorum Cancels His Family's Summer So They Can Campaign For Him

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Rick Santorum is dragging his sizable brood to go live in Iowa for the rest of the summer and run his campaign, because "children are free labor." Why else would God have given Rick seven kids? God is more stingy with money, however, and Rick has less than a quarter million in the bank, not nearly enough to hire the small army of comedians he would need to convince America to vote for an anal sex joke. Oh well, we bet his kids sure are thrilled they are one of those conservative Christian "Dad is the head of the household and gets to make the decisions" families. It even sounds better than going to the water park:


The Santorum campaign is dubbing the trip the “Courage to Fight for American Values Tour.”

The tour is also a fight to stay alive, with the field almost certain to narrow after Ames, and Santorum likely be discounted completely without a strong finish. Trailing badly in polls and fundraising, he doesn’t have the money to buy significant airtime or to hire much staff for a heavy boots-on-the-ground campaign, so he’ll be relying on the help of his family — his children range in age from 3 to 20 — and the conservative activists in the state whose endorsements he’s been rolling out to build a bigger army.

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