Whiny loser Rick Santorum is the only person we have ever heard of to datewho is terrified of public preschool teachers, except possibly a few humans out there in the sub-five age group. Three-year-olds are probably justifiably terrified of preschool teachers because of the ever-present threat of a mandatory nap time when there is still a very cool toy sitting out. Rick Santorum is terrified because in his Orwellian phantasmaverse, public preschools are renaming children things like "No. 3192482XS" and spending nap time playing record collections of James Earl Jones reading Frederick Engels at low volumes into their small ears (backwards the way Satan likes it). "The government wants their hands on your children as fast as they can," Rick says. "That is why I opposed all these early starts and pre-early starts, and early-early starts. They want your children from the womb so they can indoctrinate your children as to what they want them to be. I am against that." FETUS INDOCTRINATION ALERT.

From the Des Moines Register:

“We need to get the federal government out of that business. We need a leader in Washington to start talking with the states and the communities to rally parents to demand that the educational establishment in this country start meeting the needs of their child, not children. See, that is the difference. Obviously, socialists love children, just like they love people in groups of one million or more,” he said.

No one in the educational establishment in Washington, D.C., knows the names of your children, Santorum added. “They can’t possibly know what is best for them, yet they act as if they do, and that is wrong.”

The real fear-mongering pros out there point out that Rick Santorum may have to choose something slightly more terrifying than public daycare providers to stay in the election. [Des Moines Register]