Rick Santorum Will Wish You A Happy Fourth Of July Whether You Want Him To Or Not

Rick Santorum manages to go 55 motherfucking seconds without insulting anyone -- like, ANYONE, not gays, not dogs, not even ladies what work outside the home! -- in this nice Fourth Of July message from his family to you. But how high are his bookend sons? (Answer: THEY ARE VERY HIGH.) Also, the Crying Girl has growed up reeeeal niiiice.

And there you have it: Rick Santorum's family is sexy and on drugs. See you tomorrow!