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Rick Santorum Will Wish You A Happy Fourth Of July Whether You Want Him To Or Not

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Rick Santorum manages to go 55 motherfucking seconds without insulting anyone -- like, ANYONE, not gays, not dogs, not even ladies what work outside the home! -- in this nice Fourth Of July message from his family to you. But how high are his bookend sons? (Answer: THEY ARE VERY HIGH.) Also, the Crying Girl has growed up reeeeal niiiice.

And there you have it: Rick Santorum's family is sexy and on drugs. See you tomorrow!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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