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Rightwing Blogger's Shocking Discovery: John Roberts Was Blackmailed, Arrests To Come Soon!

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How is it possible that it took the #WARBLOGS over an hour to discover the real reason John Roberts made a dookie on the NRO's face, by agreeing that the Heritage Foundation's proposal for health care reform, and one that had been flogged by the GOP as far back as Gingrich's tenure as Emperor of the House, was in fact Constitutional? We cannot answer that for you, we can only do our best to amplify one blogger's shocking discovery the best our humble website can, by bringing you this obvious explanation from "Harry" at"ToBeRight."


Later this afternoon, it’s going to come out that Roberts was coerced. A Secret Service agent overheard Obama and Axelrod discussing the Roberts blackmail. He managed to get them on tape discussing it. Later this afternoon, the whole story will come out, Roberts will issue his REAL opinion, and Obama and Axelrod will be taken away in handcuffs.

What could they possibly have on John Roberts? This suggestion, from the endlessly concerning search terms that bring readers to Your Wonket, might hold an answer!

Unfortunately, Harry does not expound on the Obama administration's skullduggery, or the possible homosexiness of one Chief Justice Mr. John Roberts, but instead ruminates on this, the day America died by letting Harry's kids have insurance even if they have, say, psoriasis.

I was worried before, now more than ever. I really think the country as we know it is over. We’re no longer the land of the free.

My emotions are strange. I don’t feel anger or anything like that. I’m genuinely sad. I think the USA has been changed in a way that can’t be undone.

Will my kids be okay?

What can I do to protect my kids from the government?

All we can do is try to fix this with Congress. It’s all we can even hope for. So, I guess I’ll do my part. I’m going to Tweet, Facebook, write letters, make phone calls, blog, heckle politicians, recruit friends, organize Tea Parties. I am going to do everything in my legal power to vote every leftist out of office this November. I will work tirelessly to this end.

I think this is the day America died. So first, I’ll be sad for a day.

The death of America: worth being sad about for a day. Anti-psychotic medications paid for by Obamacare: priceless.

[ToBeRight]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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