This is not supposed to be news, but in a shocking and stunning and OMG-ing turn of events, Speaker of the House John Boehner has invited President Obama to do his job.

Article II, Section 3 of the U.S. Bible clearly states that the president is supposed to, from time to time, inform Congress of, like, how is it going with our union these days.

But because this is America, and the Bible also requires Republicans to hate President Obama for presidenting while president, the question of whether Congress would even allow the usurper-in-chief to set foot in their precious house of worship and occasional job-doing was raised by some A Idiot, who suggested not allowing [contextly_sidebar id="0vVkvAtCEKW1VN31wG5OUZ6tHXJkf975"] the president to fulfill his constitutional duty, just to teach him a lesson about how he is so not the boss of America, HA HA HA TAKE THAT, OBAMA! We are sort of disappointed, actually, that Boehner caved to his fellow liberal soulmates and invited the president, because we were hoping the president would be able to skip the whole pomp and circumstance of the event and maybe just send a tweet: "Nation strong, would be better if you guys didn't suck. - BO."

But because Boehner is a total wimp who's under the deluded impression that being anything less than a total outright dick is sort of the grown-up thing to do, the president will be giving an undoubtedly snoozy "Yay America!" speech in January after all. We don't yet know how the president and his wife too probably intend to insult the hallowed halls of Congress and the entire nation just yet. Maybe the president will say a thing that is true that forces someone to scream "YOU LIE!", for freedom. Perhaps he will piss right in the faces of the Supreme Court justices and make them roll their eyes SOOOOO hard. Maybe his wife will cram another gay sportsball star down our throats. [contextly_sidebar id="Qc8rMekI72wwZseJgLz7ekGc6DWl2Jmf"]

Or maybe he will just say dumb things like "the state of the union is strong" because it pretty much always is, because this is America, and that's how we roll.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc