Donate

Romney to Student: He Will Give Her All The Jobs She Could Want

News


About a month ago, we informed you that someone had decided to do something about the one trillion dollar loan bubble (student, not mortgage), and by “do something” we meant “commission a report” with all kinds of recommendations that no one (except for maybe a couple bleeding heart liberals) did anything about. So here we are, still chugging along with a trillion dollars in student loan debt, hoping someone somewhere will eventually conclude that maybe this is a problem that should be addressed, and give us a hand by way of, say, revising existing bankruptcy law, or cracking down on predatory lending practices, or addressing the ever-rising costs of college education. Do we hope that this helpful person is Mitt Romney? No, we do not, because he has already essentially advised us that we could have avoided student loans if we had not gone out and gotten more education than we could afford. Even so, a junior at St. Anselm College in Manchester, New Hampshire -- at least as of yesterday morning -- was still laboring under the impression that Mitt Romney might want to do something about this huge enormous student loan bubble problem that may or may not crash the economy someday soon and asked Romney what he would do to help her, given that she had just taken out student loans of her own. The answer, of course, was: he is going to give her a great job! No really, he said that! Hooray?

The first thing I will do is to make sure we do not keep adding more and more debt you do not even know about. That’s number one. Number two, the next thing I will do for you is to make sure when you graduate, you can get a job. Half of the kids coming out of college this year, half can’t find a job or a job that is consistent with a college degree. It’s unacceptable. We have to make sure young people coming into the work force can get a job.…Now I know it is very tempting as a politician to go out and say, you know what, I’ll just give you some money. The government’s just going to give you some money and pay back your loans for you. I’m not going to tell you something that’s not the truth. Because that is just taking money from your other pocket and giving it to the other pocket. I’m not going to go out and promise all sorts of free stuff that I know you’re going to end up paying for. What I want to do is give you a great job so you will be able to pay back yourself. And I want to get the government off your back so you can keep more of what you earned.

There you have it, students! Don't worry about the ever-climbing cost of college education because Mitt Romney is going to give you all jobs that pay well and allow you to keep up with all of your normal expenses while simultaneously making payments on, oh $21,000 - $120,000 in student loans.

[ThinkProgress]

$
Donate with CC
Photo by Daniel Stockman, Creative Commons license 2.0

It's Sunday, and that means it's time for a break from the ongoing grind of awfulness out there. Let's dive into some cool, funny, thoughtful stuff to fortify ourselves before we get back to the daily madness, shall we?

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

After watching President Arty McDeals twist in the wind for a month, IRL politician Mitch McConnell finally decided to throw the mook a lifeline. Despite constant screaming about women with duct tape over their mouths, Trump is getting blamed for the shutdown and even his own supporters are starting to turn on him. So Ol' Yertle summoned Mike Pence and Jared Kushner to his chambers for some #RealTalk.

"Tell Donald that he has to offer something so it looks like the Democrats are the ones who won't compromise." He said. (Probably.)

"That's great," squeaked young Jared (allegedly), "Democrats are desperate. We've got them right where we want them." McConnell blinked hard.

"No, Jared," he probably said. "They're not going to take the deal. We'd have more luck getting Mexico to pay for it. The point is to offer something silly so they turn us down, and then we try to convince the public that the shutdown is Democrats' fault."

"I don't get it," said Jared (allegedly), as Mother's boy Pence furrowed his brow and sighed through his nose. (Not allegedly, it's his signature move.)

"I know," Mitch might have said. "Believe me, I know."

Which is how President Teleprompter wound up giving a MAJOR ADDRESS yesterday offering to hold off on deporting some of the Dream Act kids for a hot second if Democrats will just give him $5.7 billion for WALL and let him expel future child arrivals without a hearing. Trump himself rescinded protections for up to a million immigrants brought here as kids as soon as he took office, but he'll let some of those hostages go if Democrats will just give him cash for that WALL that Mexico is "indirectly" paying for. Heck, he'll even let 300,000 people who fled war and natural disasters and put down roots here over decades to stay a little longer, if that's what it takes. He plans to deport them all in three years anyway, or else use them for another round of hostage negotiations. (If we re-elect That Orange Idiot, spit on the ground/sign of the horns/God forbid.)

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc