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Romney to Student: He Will Give Her All The Jobs She Could Want

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About a month ago, we informed you that someone had decided to do something about the one trillion dollar loan bubble (student, not mortgage), and by “do something” we meant “commission a report” with all kinds of recommendations that no one (except for maybe a couple bleeding heart liberals) did anything about. So here we are, still chugging along with a trillion dollars in student loan debt, hoping someone somewhere will eventually conclude that maybe this is a problem that should be addressed, and give us a hand by way of, say, revising existing bankruptcy law, or cracking down on predatory lending practices, or addressing the ever-rising costs of college education. Do we hope that this helpful person is Mitt Romney? No, we do not, because he has already essentially advised us that we could have avoided student loans if we had not gone out and gotten more education than we could afford. Even so, a junior at St. Anselm College in Manchester, New Hampshire -- at least as of yesterday morning -- was still laboring under the impression that Mitt Romney might want to do something about this huge enormous student loan bubble problem that may or may not crash the economy someday soon and asked Romney what he would do to help her, given that she had just taken out student loans of her own. The answer, of course, was: he is going to give her a great job! No really, he said that! Hooray?

The first thing I will do is to make sure we do not keep adding more and more debt you do not even know about. That’s number one. Number two, the next thing I will do for you is to make sure when you graduate, you can get a job. Half of the kids coming out of college this year, half can’t find a job or a job that is consistent with a college degree. It’s unacceptable. We have to make sure young people coming into the work force can get a job.…Now I know it is very tempting as a politician to go out and say, you know what, I’ll just give you some money. The government’s just going to give you some money and pay back your loans for you. I’m not going to tell you something that’s not the truth. Because that is just taking money from your other pocket and giving it to the other pocket. I’m not going to go out and promise all sorts of free stuff that I know you’re going to end up paying for. What I want to do is give you a great job so you will be able to pay back yourself. And I want to get the government off your back so you can keep more of what you earned.

There you have it, students! Don't worry about the ever-climbing cost of college education because Mitt Romney is going to give you all jobs that pay well and allow you to keep up with all of your normal expenses while simultaneously making payments on, oh $21,000 - $120,000 in student loans.

[ThinkProgress]

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The Dumb Song Of J. Dinesh Prufrock

A quick Dear Shitferbrains for you smart kids today, in response to our recent piece on Dinesh D'Souza's continued insistence that historian Kevin M. Kruse please bitchslap him with facts again and again. It turns out we picked the wrong historian to lionize, according to "Hadding Scott," who dropped by to let us know we had foolishly referred to a mere Princeton professor instead of to the most comprehensive take-down-er of D'Souza's lies, "Hadding Scott" himself.

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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