Ron DeSantis, Marco Rubio Just Being Whinyass Brats About Biden’s State Of The Union Address
The so-called “People's Convoy,” a designer imposter knockoff of Canada’s “Freedom Convoy,” is expected to arrive in Washington DC in time for President Joe Biden’s State of the Union address tonight — 9 p.m. Eastern, watch with us here at your Wonkette! Organizers have boasted about choking DC beltway traffic like a giant boa constrictor, because that’s perfectly normal behavior.
The Pentagon approved the deployment of 800 unarmed National Guard troops to “provide support at traffic control points in and around the District” and to be alert for “possible disruption at key traffic arteries.” The Capitol Police and DC government has also requested the National Guard’s help. This all seems reasonable considering a MAGA mob literally attacked the US Capitol just last year, but pro-insurrection Republicans don’t know what all the fuss is about.
Florida's Republican Governor Ron DeSantis gleefully announced Monday that he’d rejected the request for National Guard troops.
Last week, the Biden Administration requested the assistance of State National Guards to deploy to Washington DC. I have rejected this request. There will be no [Florida National Guard troops] sent to DC for Biden's State of the Union.
DeSantis sent the National Guard troops to the Texas border last June to address an imaginary crisis. This is an obviously petty move, but that’s the MAGA brand. It’s just especially annoying considering DeSantis eagerly accepted Biden’s help after last year’s Surfside condo collapse.
Biden announced that the federal government is covering 100% of the costs to the county and state for the first 30 days of the building collapse search and rescue operation. He noted that the Federal Emergency Management Agency will also provide temporary housing for survivors. In addition, he said he ordered the State Department to expedite visas for family members from other countries who had loved ones in the condo.
But Biden governs as if he’s president of the entire United States and all its citizens. DeSantis models himself after Trump, who seemingly believed only his political allies deserved the resources at his command.
Adding to the Florida-based grossness around Biden’s State of the Union is Senator Marco Rubio, who announced today that he’s not going at all. The timing is a little suspicious considering that his state’s governor just rejected a request for National Guard troops, but Rubio isn’t stiffing Biden’s address out of concern for his personal safety. No, he just can’t be bothered to take a COVID-19 test.
Rubio says he won\u2019t attend Biden\u2019s State of the Union address tomorrow because of the COVID testing requirement. \n\n\u201cI don\u2019t have time to go take a COVID test today. I only take a test if I\u2019m sick,\u201d he says— Igor Bobic (@Igor Bobic) 1646090534
“I don’t have time to go take a COVID test today,” Rubio said, according to a tweet from HuffPost reporter Igor Bobic. “I only take a test if I’m sick.”
You know that’s not how the tests work, Marco! Proactively testing before a major social event is a responsible way to avoid spreading COVID-19. The State of the Union isn’t a kid’s birthday party, either. It’s a workplace gathering where the median age is Rolling Stone member.
But let’s take a moment to laugh derisively at Marco Rubio and his assertion that he’s “too busy” to take a 20-minute COVID-19 test. The guy has filmed videos from his car when he ranted about socialism.
Rubio whined about this minor inconvenience at the Conservative Political Action Conference this weekend:
For the first time in American history you now have people having to produce paper to go in somewhere, to sit somewhere, to go to the State of the Union.
I presume that people had to “produce paper” — you know, like a photo ID or something — to attend the State of the Union. The US Capitol isn’t some sketchy nightclub that’ll let in an eighth grader if they tip the bouncer. Rubio has no problem with Florida’s restrictive voting rights laws, which are even more onerous than taking a COVID-19 test.
He went on:
You’ve got to show them I’m vaccinated, I took a test yesterday, they took my temperature, you know, all this stuff. This is, what’s happening now in America, is what happens after 20 years of infusing this Marxist thought process into every aspect of our lives and now we’ve come face-to-face with it.
Wait, taking the bare-ass minimum steps to avoid contracting or spreading a serious respiratory illness is now “Marxism”? Man, it’s like Marxism is everywhere, fucking up the scenery, breaking Rubio’s mind. Someone should also inform the very busy and important Rubio that George W. Bush was president 20 years ago. Yes, Barack Obama was president for a while but the past couple decades have hardly been a progressive wonderland.
In conclusion, DeSantis and Rubio are asshats. I leave you with the footage from Rubio’s 2011 State of the Union response. During these trying times, that’s always good for a laugh.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."