Ex-White House Doc Ronny Jackson Knows Who Is On Drugs And It Is LOOK OVER THERE
Tonight is the first presidential debate, and Republicans are desperately lowering expectations for Donald Trump. The current argument, which the president pulled out of his ass along with several mangy rabbits, is that Joe Biden is hopped up on a cocktail of performance-enhancing drugs. This is the only way he could compete with the perfectly sane and rational Trump.
Trump has called for a pre-debate drug test, which is just silly. The Biden campaign told the president to piss off.
Vice President Biden intends to deliver his debate answers in words. If the president thinks his best case is made in urine he can have at it.
We'd expect nothing less from Donald Trump, who pissed away the chance to protect the lives of 200K Americans when he didn't make a plan to stop COVID-19.
Now Trump's most loyal lackeys, including Georgia Senator and Disney villain henchman Kelly Loeffler, are insisting that voters have a right to know whether Biden is “mentally fit to serve as president." Seems fair. Maybe Biden can agree to meet with Trump for a "formal discussion on a particular topic in a public meeting or legislative assembly, in which opposing arguments are put forward." That might better demonstrate Biden's mental fitness than the status of his urine.
.@realDonaldTrump is right: the American people deserve to know whether or not @JoeBiden is mentally fit to serve a… https://t.co/qjtlRfP8FG— Kelly Loeffler (@Kelly Loeffler)1601304677.0
Loeffler tried to make the hashtag #DrugTestJoe happen. Biden however isn't the one asking for a drug test nor does he have a history of taking them. Perhaps it's intended as an ironic nickname, like calling a tall person “Tiny" or Loeffler a human being.
Rudy Giuliani, the not-so-great but still terrible, declared Biden officially brain dead on "Fox & Friends" this morning. His accusations were so shameful even the usually shameless hosts looked grossed out.
On Fox & Friends, Rudy Giuliani says Joe Biden "has dementia. There's no doubt about it. I've talked to doctors. ..… https://t.co/Pnaa8lpweP— Bobby Lewis (@Bobby Lewis)1601378976.0
GIULIANI: The man has dementia. There's no doubt about it.
He laughed at this point, because dementia is hilarious.
GIULIANI: I've talked to doctors. I've had them look at 100 different tapes of his, five years ago and today.
That's exactly how accredited medical professionals diagnose a patient they've never seen and without their consent. They watch pre-selected blooper reels provided by his political enemies. These highly accomplished gerontologists who Giuliani consulted confirm that Biden has “eight out of the 10" symptoms of dementia, but the former vice president can apparently get through the debate without wetting himself because he's probably snorting Adderall or some other “attention-deficit disorder thing."
Steve Doocy quickly cut off Giuliani's deranged rant. He correctly pointed out that no one on the panel is a doctor, even if Ainsley Earhardt could've played one on “Grey's Anatomy." However, you know who kinda, sort of is a doctor? That's right: Ronny Jackson, former White House physician and current congressional candidate. He tweeted Monday night that “it's 100 percent reasonable" to suspect with zero percent evidence that Biden is being medicated for whatever imaginary impairment he has. “Something with him isn't right," Jackson warned. This is the same competent medical professional who declared Trump a perfect specimen of man.
It's 100% reasonable to suspect the former Vice President is being medicated. Something with him isn't right. Joe… https://t.co/EqVA3qrPdz— Ronny Jackson (@Ronny Jackson)1601348836.0
That's some shamelessness in so many directions right there: Look at how Jackson's intimating Biden's already taken one, and is hiding it, or the assumption that not taking a drug test before a presidential debate is what's out of the ordinary, when it is a thing that has literally never been even asked before.
Jackson appeared on Sean Hannity last night and repeated the talking point that Biden only does well with questions he's seen beforehand and can memorize the answers to in advance, because that is apparently how dementia works.
JACKSON: [Biden] has had a few times when he's come out and he's looked more energetic than he's typically looked over the last few months. It could be that he's having good days and bad days. Because that's how this cognitive decline [works]. You will have good days and bad days.
Biden is also 77 and more mentally coherent than the current president who so easily wowed Jackson when he correctly identified a camel. Back then, Jackson dismissed any discussion of Trump's possible dementia as “tabloid psychology" talk. Now he's fully on board.
If Biden had dementia and there was a drug that allowed him to function at the level he has during the past year, that's a miracle drug and the only scandal is that Biden's not sharing it with the world.
Biden is currently outperforming past Democratic presidential candidates among seniors, a key voting bloc. According to a New York Times poll, he's ahead of Trump nationally by three points in the 65 and older demo (Trump won them by eight points in 2016). This will likely affect down-ballot races, as well. Republicans might want to reconsider their “old people are useless" strategy.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).