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As the bard once said, "the course of true love never did run smooth"--and never has that been more true than in the case of internet "pick-up artist," "Neomasculinist" and rape advocate Daryush Valizadeh, better known as Roosh V.


You see, though Roosh has traveled across the globe in pursuit of women to bang, and written several books explaining how to bang women in various countries (classics like "Bang Estonia," "Don't Bang Latvia," and "Bang Lithuania"), he has yet to find himself a suitable woman-person to be the carrier of his demon spawn. Why? Because pretty much all the governments all across the world are just going ahead and ruining all the ladies by educating them, and going so far as to offer that education "for free or at a greatly subsidized rate." To women!

Even in Eastern Europe, he notes in a recent blog post, women are being programmed "into becoming sterile office slaves and consumers instead of good wives and mothers." They are leaving their familial homes and going off to live in the city, like common harlots! Eastern Europe! Where 36-year-old dudes who live in their mother's basements and cry about feminism on the internet are supposed to be able to go to get a virginal, docile, submissive wife, who is under the age of 25 (after that they are ruined forever) and who will cater to their every need without ever having any of her own! What gives?

Well, if you ask Roosh, it is all part of a global conspiracy to depopulate the planet, which involves the United Nations' Agenda 21, Prince Charles, Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg, Margaret Sanger and "gloablist" David Rockefeller, and probably more than a few lizard people. Obviously. Why? We do not know because we did not really read that far into the post.

As a result, Roosh has met more than a few women in Eastern Europe who are actually waiting to get pregnant in order to focus on their "careers," just in case the the man they marry turns out to be "bad." It's like they don't even REALIZE that the problem is them having the option to leave their husbands in the first place!

"Men are bad, and because of that, she must spend years in university where she gets to experiment with different cocks and where she is firmly taken out of her natural role to learn how to serve a corporate master while her future kid goes to day care and her husband eats cans of tuna because his wife is too tired from work to cook, assuming she even knows how." (emphasis mine) 

Cans of tuna! What kind of dystopic world is this? A world which coddles the selfish desires of women over that of one dude on the internet? MADNESS!

"Women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be able to marry the man they are most attracted to, and if that doesn’t work, still be able to enjoy an independent and comfortable life of Ikea furniture and Starbucks without having to put up with a man’s reasonable demands to cook him dinner and make sure the children are taken care of."

Oh no! Anything but that! What is with these women who don't want to be left economically destitute in the event of a divorce? What woman would not not want to marry a man they are not attracted to, and then cook him non-tuna-can dinner every night? She should be thrilled with such an opportunity! And surely she would be if these evil governments were not trying to "educate" her instead of teaching her to "obey her husband."

"Women win through this scheme because they are able to say no to their husbands without repercussions and the government wins because women are less dependent on men for their needs."

What? Women telling their husbands no? Like, when they want sex or a sandwich on demand? What is next? Donkeys wearing trousers? Fish riding bicycles?

But wait! It gets worse!

"The less a woman has to depend on a man’s resources, the less she will have trained herself on how to be a good wife and mother. She may still end up being a good wife and mother, but she been put on a path since her teenage years by the system to spend considerable amounts of time in corporate and victimhood training, not wife training. Therefore if you end up marrying a woman who places high value in her “empowered” job, and she refuses to quit that job when her presence is needed in the home, your misfortune comes not just from your mistake in choosing her, but in the fact that the government, through their education programs and directives, have ensured that very outcome. In effect, you’re being actively cucked by your own government."

Roosh explains that that this situation will not just make him unhappy, but all of the women as well, whom he knows for a fact would be happier having a family than a career. He knows what women want, and it is for sure to be obedient to a man they are not sexually attracted to, to bear his children and to make him dinners that are decidedly not cans of tuna. Especially a man with the power to throw them out on the street with no way to survive should they ever disobey him.

But will this lead to the end of civilization? You bet it will!

"If I were king of a land and wanted to destroy a neighboring kingdom, I’d simply implant the idea of female education within their culture so that they’d simply die out within a few generations."

Obviously, the only rational solution here, if we want the human race to EVEN SURVIVE is to just stop educating women altogether. Unless it is just for "wife training." Otherwise, we could very well find ourselves in a situation where quality men like Roosh V could find no way to pass on their genetic material, and surely we do not want that!

[We Hunted The Mammoth]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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