As the bard once said, "the course of true love never did run smooth"--and never has that been more true than in the case of internet "pick-up artist," "Neomasculinist" and rape advocate Daryush Valizadeh, better known as Roosh V.

You see, though Roosh has traveled across the globe in pursuit of women to bang, and written several books explaining how to bang women in various countries (classics like "Bang Estonia," "Don't Bang Latvia," and "Bang Lithuania"), he has yet to find himself a suitable woman-person to be the carrier of his demon spawn. Why? Because pretty much all the governments all across the world are just going ahead and ruining all the ladies by educating them, and going so far as to offer that education "for free or at a greatly subsidized rate." To women!

Even in Eastern Europe, he notes in a recent blog post, women are being programmed "into becoming sterile office slaves and consumers instead of good wives and mothers." They are leaving their familial homes and going off to live in the city, like common harlots! Eastern Europe! Where 36-year-old dudes who live in their mother's basements and cry about feminism on the internet are supposed to be able to go to get a virginal, docile, submissive wife, who is under the age of 25 (after that they are ruined forever) and who will cater to their every need without ever having any of her own! What gives?

Well, if you ask Roosh, it is all part of a global conspiracy to depopulate the planet, which involves the United Nations' Agenda 21, Prince Charles, Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg, Margaret Sanger and "gloablist" David Rockefeller, and probably more than a few lizard people. Obviously. Why? We do not know because we did not really read that far into the post.

As a result, Roosh has met more than a few women in Eastern Europe who are actually waiting to get pregnant in order to focus on their "careers," just in case the the man they marry turns out to be "bad." It's like they don't even REALIZE that the problem is them having the option to leave their husbands in the first place!

"Men are bad, and because of that, she must spend years in university where she gets to experiment with different cocks and where she is firmly taken out of her natural role to learn how to serve a corporate master while her future kid goes to day care and her husband eats cans of tuna because his wife is too tired from work to cook, assuming she even knows how." (emphasis mine) 

Cans of tuna! What kind of dystopic world is this? A world which coddles the selfish desires of women over that of one dude on the internet? MADNESS!

"Women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be able to marry the man they are most attracted to, and if that doesn’t work, still be able to enjoy an independent and comfortable life of Ikea furniture and Starbucks without having to put up with a man’s reasonable demands to cook him dinner and make sure the children are taken care of."

Oh no! Anything but that! What is with these women who don't want to be left economically destitute in the event of a divorce? What woman would not not want to marry a man they are not attracted to, and then cook him non-tuna-can dinner every night? She should be thrilled with such an opportunity! And surely she would be if these evil governments were not trying to "educate" her instead of teaching her to "obey her husband."

"Women win through this scheme because they are able to say no to their husbands without repercussions and the government wins because women are less dependent on men for their needs."

What? Women telling their husbands no? Like, when they want sex or a sandwich on demand? What is next? Donkeys wearing trousers? Fish riding bicycles?

But wait! It gets worse!

"The less a woman has to depend on a man’s resources, the less she will have trained herself on how to be a good wife and mother. She may still end up being a good wife and mother, but she been put on a path since her teenage years by the system to spend considerable amounts of time in corporate and victimhood training, not wife training. Therefore if you end up marrying a woman who places high value in her “empowered” job, and she refuses to quit that job when her presence is needed in the home, your misfortune comes not just from your mistake in choosing her, but in the fact that the government, through their education programs and directives, have ensured that very outcome. In effect, you’re being actively cucked by your own government."

Roosh explains that that this situation will not just make him unhappy, but all of the women as well, whom he knows for a fact would be happier having a family than a career. He knows what women want, and it is for sure to be obedient to a man they are not sexually attracted to, to bear his children and to make him dinners that are decidedly not cans of tuna. Especially a man with the power to throw them out on the street with no way to survive should they ever disobey him.

But will this lead to the end of civilization? You bet it will!

"If I were king of a land and wanted to destroy a neighboring kingdom, I’d simply implant the idea of female education within their culture so that they’d simply die out within a few generations."

Obviously, the only rational solution here, if we want the human race to EVEN SURVIVE is to just stop educating women altogether. Unless it is just for "wife training." Otherwise, we could very well find ourselves in a situation where quality men like Roosh V could find no way to pass on their genetic material, and surely we do not want that!

[We Hunted The Mammoth]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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